20 Useful Things to Learn in 2018

What new skills are you going for this year?

10 Hard Things to Start Doing for Yourself

In 1911, two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth.  It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world.  Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to a round-trip hike from New York City to Chicago.  Both men would be traveling the same exact distance on foot through extremely cold and harsh weather conditions.  And both men were equally equipped with experience, supplies, and a supporting team of fellow explorers.  But what wasn’t certain is how each of them would approach the inevitable challenges they faced on the road ahead.

As it turned out, Amundsen and Scott took entirely different approaches to the very same challenges.
Scott directed his team to hike as far as possible on the good weather days and then rest on bad weather days to conserve energy.  Conversely, Amundsen directed his team to follow a strict regimen of consistent daily progress by hiking exactly 20 miles every day, regardless of weather conditions.  Even on the warmest, clear-sky days, when Amundsen’s team was capable of hiking much farther, Amundsen was absolutely adamant that they travel no more than 20 miles to conserve their energy for the following day’s hike.

Which team succeeded in the end?

The team that took consistent daily action.

Why?

Because what we do EVERY day defines us!

Today’s progress is always compounded by yesterday’s effort, no matter how small.

And it all comes down to the power of self-discipline.

Think about the most common problems we deal with in our modern lives—from lack of presence to lack of exercise to unhealthy diets to procrastination, and so forth.  In most cases, problems like these are not caused not by a physically present limitation, but by a weakness of the mind—specifically, a lack of self-discipline.

We put the hard things off until tomorrow—because the “weather” is bad—until we’ve lost our edge.  We grow accustomed to the idea that things should be easier than they are, and that waiting another day or two makes the best sense.  Then one day we wake up and we’re emotionally incapable of doing the hard things that must be done.

Let this be your wake-up call!

Your mind and body both need to be exercised to gain strength.  They need to be challenged, and they need to be worked consistently, to grow and develop over time.  If you haven’t pushed yourself in lots of little ways over time—if you always avoid doing the hard things—of course you’ll crumble on the inevitable days that are harder than you expected.

And if I had to guess, I’d say Scott’s team suffered in exactly this way.  They tried to make things easier on themselves—the fantasy of “easier” became their mantra—their subconscious goal.  But this fantasy was never going to be a reality during a 1,400-mile footrace in the South Pole.
Scott’s team lost the race, not on the ground, but in their heads first.

They were convinced that waiting made things easier.

Don’t follow in their footsteps!

Many great things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow.  Take positive action and plant the right seeds in your life right now.  Nature herself does not distinguish between what seeds she receives.  She grows whatever seeds are planted.  This is the way life works.  Be mindful of the seeds you plant today, as they will become the crop you harvest tomorrow.
So with that principle in mind, I want to share some key daily practices we’ve seen make all the difference in the lives of hundreds of our coaching clients and course members over the past decade—simple (but far from easy) things they do every day that ultimately move their lives and goals forward.  And it’s no surprise that many of these practices directly or indirectly involve strengthening your mindset—because when we think better, we live better.

1. Start letting go of unnecessary ideals. – When a thought comes to mind, ask yourself if it’s helping you grow or holding you back.  Take back control.  Make the unconscious, conscious, and let go of what isn’t serving you.  This form of letting go is not giving up.  It’s surrendering any obsessive emotional attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations.  It means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go a certain way.  Have goals, have dreams, aspire and take purposeful action, and build great relationships, but detach from what every aspect of your life must absolutely look like to be “good enough” for you.  Just accept reality and then respond effectively.  Focus on what matters—what moves you forward today—and let go of what does not.
2. Start putting your heart and soul into the things you do. – There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion.  Life is short.  Invest daily in meaningful activities.  And don’t wait around!  Too often we wait—because we think we need to “find” something new or different to be passionate about.  But that’s not true.  If you want more passion in your life right now, act accordingly right now!  Put your whole heart and soul into the next thing you do.  Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but the opportunity right in front of you.  Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but today’s tasks.  Not into tomorrow’s run, but today’s run.  Not into tomorrow’s conversations, but today’s conversations.  I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus.  You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them.  You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting.  Stop waiting!  There is no tomorrow.  Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you!  Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen FOR you, TO you, and BECAUSE of you.
3. Start stretching yourself just beyond the edge of comfort. – When you’re struggling to make progress, that’s when you actually are.  Let that sink in.  It’s far wiser to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes stretching yourself, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running comfortably in place.  You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability at least once a day—it needs to be hard and uncomfortable for a little while.  But most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we run from the possibility of discomfort constantly.  The obvious problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones.  And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle with our goals.  We keep doing what we’ve always done, and thus we keep getting the results we’ve always gotten.  And our true potential falls by the wayside.  Choose differently!  Go to environments that expand your mind.  Spend time with people who inspire you to stretch yourself.  Read books.  Grow.  Get better.  Your life is your choice.
4. Start taking more deep breaths, so you can mindfully collect more lessons for the long run. – It’s incredibly easy to overestimate the significance of a single decision, outcome, or event in the heat of the moment.  But you must remind yourself to take a deep breath when things don’t go your way.  Your results in the long run—good or bad—are always the byproduct of many small decisions, outcomes, and events over time.  The truth is we all fail sometimes.  The greater truth is that no single failure ever defines us.  Learn from your mistakes.  Grow wiser.  Press on.  Character and wisdom are sculpted gradually.  They come with loss, lessons, and triumphs.  They come after doubts, second guesses, and unknowns.  The seeds of your success are planted in your past failures.  Your best stories will come from overcoming your greatest challenges.  Your praises will be birthed from your pains.  So keep standing, keep learning, and keep living.
5. Start side-stepping senseless drama. – Tune out the cheap shots people take at you along the way.  Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence.  Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.  Seriously, before you waste it on anger, spite or frustration, think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is today.  Give yourself a permanent break from the drama that can be easily avoided—just don’t engage in it.  Life is just too short to argue and fight.  Count your blessings, value the people who matter, and move on from the drama with your head held high.  Remind yourself that calmness is a human superpower.  The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear, your heart at peace, and yourself moving forward.  Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally.  Listen to others, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
6. Start staying true to your values and convictions. – Rejections don’t matter in the long run.  Accept them and refocus your attention on what DOES matter.  What does matter is how you see yourself.  Always make a habit of staying 100% true to your values and convictions, regardless of what others think.  Never be ashamed of doing what feels right.  To help you implement this positive habit, start by listing out 5-10 things that are important to you when it comes to building your character and living your life.  For example, Honesty, Reliability, Self-respect, Self-discipline, Compassion, and Kindness.  Having a short list like this to reference will give you an opportunity to consciously invoke and uphold your handpicked traits and behaviors in place of doing something random simply for the purpose of external validation.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of our book.)
7. Start looking for silver linings. – The most powerful weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.  Train your mind to see the good in the truth.  Studies have shown that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster.  Similar studies of other vocations have shown that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%, and university students primed to feel happy before taking math exams statistically outperform their neutral peers.  So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.  So think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset.  Do your best to keep it positive.
8. Start focusing inward more often. – Do your best to focus inward, as often as necessary, whenever you need a moment of clarity.  And remember that your time spent focusing inward and finding clarity doesn’t just help you—your mind is powerful and your thoughts create ripples in other people’s lives.  When you bring clarity into your life, you bring the best of yourself into everything you do—you tend to treat yourself and others better, communicate more constructively, do things for the right reasons, and ultimately improve the world you’re living in.  This is why praying, or just meditating on some positive mantras, on a daily basis can actually make a real-world difference in your life.  A heightened level of your conscious awareness—mental clarity—instantly elevates you in countless ways.  And then interesting things begin happening—good things that are outside of your immediate purview—good things you haven’t even thought of yet.
9. Start embracing your humanness and giving yourself more credit. – “Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily.  To become attached to an opinionated label of depressed, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water.  For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in.  And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.  Once we fully embrace our humanness, it’s almost funny to see how quickly we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without… and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted.  Take this to heart.  And don’t forget to pause once a day and appreciate how far you’ve come.  You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot.  Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace.
10. Start taking the next small, insignificant step (one at a time, every day). – Sometimes it’s really hard to get going again.  This is how Angel and I felt a decade ago when we were stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to suicide and illness.  It was really hard to move when we didn’t think we had the strength to push forward.  But we pushed ourselves to take one tiny step every day—one journal entry, one workout, one honest conversation, and so forth—and it felt good, and we got stronger.  And believe it or not, that’s basically what I did again this morning.  I was struggling to motivate myself after a significant business opportunity fell through.  I was feeling defeated.  So I took the tiniest possible step.  Just turning on my computer, opening up the word processing application, and writing a single sentence.  Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, and yet so easy as to be possible when I was feeling defeated.  And it showed me that the next step was possible, and the next.  And the end result is the blog post you’ve just finished reading.  (Angel and I build tiny, daily, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)

 

Your turn…

The next step forward is yours for the taking.  Just pick one of the aforementioned points and start focusing on it for a few minutes every day.  The key is making sustainable shifts in your beliefs and behavior.  That means practicing each point gradually—one at a time, one day at a time, and then letting them build on one another.  Go from zero to ten over the course of a few months, not all at once.

Will it be easy?

Not likely.

As you marshal forward in life, adversity is inescapable.  And it’s much like walking into a turbulent winter storm—like the ones Amundsen and Scott inevitably encountered on their race in the South Pole—as you fight to push onward, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.  Once you come out of the storm, you see yourself as you really are in raw form, without the baggage that’s been holding you back.

And that makes all the difference—because it frees you to take the next step, and the next.

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10 Fantasies to Let Go of Before the New Year

“A 10-year-old patient of mine will be undergoing her 14th surgery in three years’ time to combat a rare and aggressive type of cancer.  Even after all the medical procedures and surgeries, I’ve never seen her frown—I’ve never seen her skip a beat.  Although the odds continue to work against her, I’m certain her attitude, acceptance and presence are the principal reasons she has lived so well to this point.  She’s still positively engaged in living her life to the fullest.  She laughs and plays with her friends and family.  She has realistic, intelligent goals for the upcoming year that she’s already working on.  A kid like her who can go through everything she’s been through and wake up every day with enthusiasm for the life she’s living, is the reason I’m enrolled in your course.”
That’s the opening paragraph of an email I received this morning from a new course student.  It caught my attention for obvious reasons.  (Note: I’m sharing this with permission.)

Our student then went on to say, “My conversations with this incredible little girl have opened my awareness to all the self-destructive fantasies I have in my head.  I have it so good—I am incredibly fortunate to be alive and healthy, for example—and yet I sit at home most nights thinking the opposite.  I don’t necessarily do this consciously or intensely, but I do it.  I fantasize about how my life ‘should’ be different than it is—how everything should be better, easier, more enjoyable, and so forth.  And these fantasies are slowly spoiling my attitude and my ability to make progress on the things that are important to me.”

Wow!  Talk about a great reminder for all of us to get out of our own heads.
And the truth is, most of us come to similar realizations at some point.  The older we grow, and the more real-world tragedies and challenges we witness, the more we realize how incredibly blessed we are, and how frequently the fantasies in our heads hold us back from these blessings.  In fact, you’ve likely fantasized your way into headaches and heartaches hundreds of times in the past.  We all do this to a greater or lesser extent . . .
We stress ourselves out, because of fantasies.
We procrastinate to the point of failure, because of fantasies.
We get angry with others, with ourselves, and with the world at large, because of fantasies.
We miss out on many of life’s most beautiful and peaceful moments, because of fantasies.
Let’s look at some common examples…

• When we wake up and immediately start fantasizing and worrying about all the things we have to do, we aren’t really doing anything but adding stress to an otherwise pleasant morning.
• When we fear the potential of failure, and we procrastinate in response to our fear, our fearful fantasies force us to miss great opportunities for success.
• When someone upsets us, this is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave.  The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy.
• When we think about making a healthy change in our lives, like getting in shape, we are initially inspired by the fantasy of how easy it will be, but that’s not reality.  So when the reality of working hard to exercise and eat right surfaces, and it doesn’t match up with our inspiring fantasy, we give up.
• When we’re having a conversation with someone, we’re distracted with fantasies of how this person views us, or we’re distracted by our propensity to fantasize about how to respond before they even finish talking, and thus the conversation is unnecessarily draining
• When we move through our days, our minds are stuck fantasizing about other times and places—or other possibilities—and so we miss the pleasant surprises and simple pleasures surrounding us.

And the list goes on and on . . .
Of course, sometimes we get out of our own heads long enough to focus on the present, accept it, and make the best of it, but it’s NOT often enough.
Which is why it’s time for a change!

To get yourself out of this mess, you need to literally rewire your brain and replace negative, fantasy-driven mindsets with positive, productive ones.  For example, instead of saying, “I don’t have what it takes,” you must start saying, “I think I can figure this out!”  And by doing so, you’ll stop saying, “I’m not ready yet,” and you’ll start taking action because the new mindset is something along the lines of “I am ready to learn and grow!”

Bottom line: If you’ve caught yourself stuck with similar fantasies and negative thought patterns like the ones discussed above, you need to take action ASAP.  The longer you let these little demons linger around, the harder it is to get rid of them.  And since the New Year is just around the corner, which inspires many of us to refocus our energy and attention on the right things, I think it’s a perfect time right now to start letting them go.

So today, I challenge you to this:

Before the New Year . . .

1. Let go of the fantasies you have about all the distractions in your life. – If it entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction.  Don’t settle.  Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kinda want at the moment.  Study your habits.  Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions.  It’s time to focus on what matters.
2. Let go of the fantasy that everyone else knows what’s best for you. – Too many of us listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Don’t read every gossip column . . . don’t check the news five times a day.  Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences.  The space and time you are occupying at any given moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about the Kardashians or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are disempowered.  You’re giving your life away to marketing and media hocus-pocus, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to look and behave a certain way.  It’s all just a distraction from what is real and good.  What is real and good is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, and your dreams.  You know this already!  Listen to what your heart is telling you!
3. Let go of the fantasy that your anger and frustration is someone else’s fault. – The ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength is how calm you are when facing any given situation.  Calmness is indeed a superpower.  The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which instantly gives you the upper hand.  (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Happiness” chapter of our book.)
4. Let go of the fantasy that your biggest obstacle is outside yourself. – The biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your mind.  Truly, if you can overcome that, you can overcome anything.  And by “overcoming,” I’m referring to the skill of mindfulness, and learning to effectively control your emotional responses to life’s unexpected challenges.  Because most of our deepest pain comes from the way we respond, not the way life is.
5. Let go of the fantasy that life shouldn’t be so hard. – It’s so easy to overestimate the importance of one big, challenging circumstance and then underestimate the value of making better daily decisions based on what that circumstance has taught you.  The truth is, you need things to be challenging—you need things to be hard!  Your mind and body need to be exercised to gain strength.  They need to be worked consistently.  Because if you haven’t pushed yourself in lots of little ways over time—if you always avoid dealing with and working through the hard things—of course you’ll crumble on the inevitable days that are harder than you expected.
6. Let go of the fantasy that the risks are too great. – Angel and I have met hundreds of interesting, intelligent people searching for something new—a new relationship opportunity, a new income opportunity, etc.  Yet oftentimes when these people have their ideal opportunity sitting right in front of them, they take zero action.  They refuse to step up and pursue what they truly want because, deep down, they fear pain—rejection, failure, etc.  So, they subconsciously and heartbreakingly trade comfort and self-preservation for lifelong misery.  Don’t do this to yourself!
7. Let go of the fantasy that you need permission to move forward with your life. – No one is going to give you the permission you need.  Don’t wait to be chosen or blessed by someone else.  The chosen and blessed ones choose and bless themselves, with heart-centered focus and consistent action.  Your life is YOUR choice!  Know this, choose wisely, and take action.
8. Let go of the fantasy that you should feel more confident first. – Seriously, stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.  Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.  Meditate of that for a moment, and then force yourself forward.  You don’t need to have it all mapped out.  You don’t need to feel “ready.”  You just need to get started—to make “starting” a daily ritual.  Do so—learn to start every day before you feel ready—and I promise you will learn how to succeed, step by step, before you even realize that you’re good enough.  (Note: Angel and I build small, life-changing, daily rituals with our students in the “Goals & Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
9. Let go of the fantasy that you need more, more, more . . . of everything. – Simplify wherever and whenever possible.  Clear the clutter in your physical and mental space.  Instead of figuring out how to make ends meet, work on having fewer ends.  Don’t sell your sanity to the impulse of acquiring things—more distractions—you don’t need in your life.  Learn to say “no!”  When you simplify and live comfortably below your means, mentally and physically, you ultimately enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles and schedules can’t even fathom.
10. Let go of the fantasy that what you know now will always be true. – Warren Buffett once said, “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.”  This is a tragedy, this kind of thinking.  Don’t do it to yourself.  Don’t just look for data that confirms what you already know.  Be willing to be wrong.  Be willing to learn.  Be mindful, humble and teachable.  There’s always room for a new idea, a new step, a new perspective . . . a new beginning.  Life changes every second, and so can you.

 

Cheers to a new beginning…

 

Undoubtedly, the days, weeks and months ahead—both before and after the New Year—will be filled with incredible highs and stressful lows, for all of us.  But in any case, we can train our minds to make the best of the present moment as it unfolds.  Letting go of the fantasies covered above is one of the simplest and most powerful starting points for doing this.  And if you’re struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone.  Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and keep our lives and relationships on track.  This is precisely why Angel and I wrote our book and built our course.  Both of these invaluable resources are filled with precise, concise tips on how to do just that.  And believe it or not, Angel and I review a lot of our own material on a regular basis too, just to center our minds on these proven principles.
We sincerely hope you will join us.
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Why Scientists Agree That Dancing Is the Best Way to Get Fit and Live Longer

“You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~Mae West

The other day, I saw a bit of a clip from a video of the Stones’ last world tour. Mick Jagger was prancing round the stage like an eighteen year-old.

It was a bit depressing. Why can’t I do that still?

I used to be a demon dancer. Well, I thought I was at the time, like teenagers do.

I don’t feel like a demon dancer now. I really ought to get some more exercise.

Do you feel like that? That you ought to exercise, but you can’t really get up the steam to do it? That somehow, it’s all too much hassle, even though we all know how important it is?

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn 

I’m always looking for some way of doing exercise that I enjoy and will stick with.
Are you like me? You’ve tried—not just tried; you’ve tried everything?

But it doesn’t work out.

I took up swimming before work.

You have to wear your work clothes and change in and out of them. Your hair gets wet and takes ages to dry. If you’re unlucky, you drop your suit jacket on the muddy changing room floor. So, you go to work with a jacket with a dirty stain on it. Plus, you smell of chlorine all day and get plantar warts.
When I was well into the corporate life, I went to a gym, but that wasn’t much fun. I was always tired, even before the extra journey to get there. There are all those incomprehensible machines to make you do unnatural things. It’s boring, nobody talks to anyone else, and the changing rooms smell horrible.

I took up running. That was better, although mostly still nobody to talk to. At least it was outside in the fresh air. I even ran to work sometimes, although you have all the shower and change of clothes difficulties at work then.

I did a few fun runs and that was a bit of a laugh—but I got quite fit! Then I had a small accident and suddenly running wasn’t a good idea any more. Bad for the back, bad for the knees.

Since then I’ve been sure to keep on walking. Every day. But it’s rather boring, doing the same walks over and over again. In the town, there’s all that pollution to deal with too. And it isn’t any fun at all when it’s raining.

No wonder people don’t get enough exercise—it’s all too difficult in today’s world.
Here I am, still not that fit and getting a bit less fit as each year goes by. Making the same old New Year’s resolutions.

The Science of Exercise and a Bit of Motivation

I came across an article about how scientists had determined the best exercise for a long and active life. Yeah, I want to live a nice long time. Show me where to sign up!

Scientific research shows that the best exercise you can get to live longer and in better health is dancing. What—old fashioned, may I have the pleasure, ballroom type dancing? (Well, it is very popular now.) How can that be the latest, best new exercise hack?

Did you go dancing when you were young? I did. Friends and laughter, and the music was great! It beat hockey practice, or netball or football or whatever sports we were made to play at school.
And the scientists agree! Dancing does much more for your body, your muscles, and your brain. You have to be disciplined, coordinated, flexible. You need good posture and strong muscles. You have to control your breathing.

It keeps your brain active, because you have to integrate so many different things at once—moving your arms, legs, and head in the right way, keeping in time to the music. You have to be aware of others on the dance floor and gracefully avoid them. You have to memorize the steps.
All that work makes your brain develop more cells and a bigger hippocampus. It helps protect you against memory loss, against cognitive decline.

It’s great for preserving your sense of balance; dancers don’t fall over as they get older and so they stay out of hospital and live longer.

It’s sociable; mostly you dance with other people. And you can practice at home if you want.
It lifts your spirits and stops you from getting depressed.

You live longer, you’re happier, you have more energy, and you make friends.
So, lots of scientific reasons to motivate you to get dancing.

“Exercise is a tribute to the heart.” ~Gene Tunney

What did the scientists miss, though? They missed that it is loads of fun to dance. They missed that this is something that you can really love doing.
They missed that there’s a huge variety of styles, that there’s always something new to learn. Tap, salsa, Zumba, ballet, ballroom, country, barn, folk, Morris, Russian, Hungarian, jazz, modern, line dancing—there’s too many types to list!

They missed out the connection to the music.

Viennese waltzes by Johann Strauss. Musicals from the thirties, and every decade since. Rock music from the Beatles. Jazz by the likes of Charlie Mingus and Take Five by Dave Brubeck. Folk from Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. Pop from Abba. Latin American. Bollywood.

I love sixties music best. What can beat the Rolling Stones’ great hit, “Satisfaction” for a great dance number? Look, the Stones are still out there playing to the crowds. They are still dancing and show few signs of giving it up, for all their age. They look as though they love it.

The scientists missed talking about motivation too. As I was saying, it’s a big issue for exercise, finding the motivation to do it. It’s a big issue for me and loads of people just like me.

So, we need to do something that actually want to do. We need to find ways of making exercise such fun that we’d rather be doing that than anything else.

If the music makes your heart sing, then dancing might be the exercise for you. Even if it just makes your feet tap and gives you a bit of an itchy feeling, dancing could be the way for you to get fit again.
Of course, if you love dancing already, then what’s to stop you?

With winter coming up (in the northern hemisphere), my husband and I have decided to put on one track a day and dance as hard as we can. We want to have fun together, bask in the nostalgia of music from our younger years, and get fit again.

We can’t think of a better way to do it.

Using Your Heart for Motivation to Exercise 

Let’s follow our hearts and our hearts will look after us. We’ll be doing our brains a favor as well. Hearts and brains both love dancing.

Exercise won’t be such a struggle, and we’ll reap the benefits down the years.
Doing exercise right means that we’ll be living our lives right too and the one life we have will be a long, happy, and active one.

Go dance your heart out like the Stones and I’ll see you on the dance floor. I’ll be the one dancing down those long extra years I’ll gain from sticking with the exercise.
Source

Contribution: Key to A Happy Life | Tony Robbins

Had a tough Christmas ... watch this.

How Living With Intention Enhances Your Magic

Do you remember Cinderella with Brandy and Whitney Houston?


The best part in the movie is when Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother magically appears and slays Cinderella’s life right before the ball. It gets even better when they start singing "Impossible," dropping magical gems all the way to the ball.


I like to think that I am Cinderella and Oprah is my Fairy Godmother.


After graduating, I felt stuck in my circumstances and it seemed like I was never going to be able to move forward. Like most graduates, I had believed that life after college was going to skyrocket me into the direction of my dreams. All the studying, procrastinating (read: lazy Sunday’s on the couch with my roommate watching Real Housewives of Atlanta), partying, and hard work made me feel like Wonder Woman when I walked across the stage and received my overdue recognition.

But once I realized I had to move back home and continue my job hunt—after thousands of applications, follow-ups, and interviews—I felt hella discouraged.
Everything appeared impossible. I was unsure of how I was going to get a steady job, be a social butterfly, and deal with my crazy family. Then Oprah effortlessly floated her way across my phone screen and changed my life.

“Intention is one with cause and effect. Intention determines outcome. And if you are stuck and not moving forward, you have to check the thought and action that created the circumstance.” - Oprah Winfrey

I had so many desires: moving to California; working as a Marketing Director for Big Company A; dating someone who looks like Idris Elba; acting as the hybrid version of Joan and Lynn in someone's group of girlfriends; basically, I wanted a whole new life.

Let me tell you, I started doing some serious manifesting. I was visualizing, taking action, and affirming all of my desires, and NOTHING was happening. My intentions, much like my priorities, were all out of whack!

Check Your Vibe

When you begin to tap into your magic, you realize that everything is a vibe. My vibe was way off: My intentions and my desires were not lining up to help me create this beautiful life I couldn’t stop imagining.

If I was 100 percent honest with myself, the material THINGS were not going to fulfill my true desires. My intentions were selfish. I desired to get things, look cool, be seen, and post pictures on Instagram. The belief that my material world influenced my internal feelings was the illusion I held onto. Before I could manifest any real change into my life, I had to become conscious of the fragile and fleeting material world that we live in.

If I truly wanted change to take place in my life, I had to change my thoughts and tap into my power to create new realities by refocusing my intentions.

Intention Reminds You of Your Purpose

What is something you wanted when you were younger? I wanted to be and do everything: live in a house with stairs (I only thought rich people had stairs); be Kelly Rowland in Destiny's Child; become editor-in-chief at Essence; fall in love like Sidney and Dre (Fun Fact: My favorite movie is Brown Sugar). The list goes on for days.

Yet, the world has a funny (and mostly evil) way of stealing your joy.

Growing up, we are always playing dress up and searching for an identity to claim. We play these games until some "responsible adult" forces us to join their lame club. Up until this point what we are doing is looking for purpose. We learn that purpose involves having a steady job, a successful marriage, and some rugrats to join the snooze fest of a party we are having. Life becomes less of a game and our purpose becomes illusioned as adulting. At some point, we have to dive deep and find the joy and fun that came with that endless dress-up party we were having.

I decided to put on my cape and become my own superwoman. Clearly, my purpose wasn't at the job I had or any of the jobs I applied to. Things kept getting worse and I kept getting sadder. This sadness forced me to look at various aspects of myself, get rid of those agreements that I clearly disagreed with, and begin living for myself.

I decided to put on my cape and become my own superwoman.

Through the process of unearthing myself, I rediscovered my purpose. All this happened because I reevaluated the reasons behind my why and tapped into my magic.

In the midst of all the intentional fun you are having, your purpose will be magically revealed to you. And most likely it will be something you were doing since you blessed the world with your presence. Once you begin to get clear about the vision you have for yourself, your intentions and your desires will begin to align so you can live your best life.

Intention Determines Outcome

Nothing good has ever come from anything planned with bad intent.

All you have to do is look at your life and you will be able to see what kind of intentions you have been setting. And if you want something good, then you have to put good into everything that you do.

Nothing good has ever come from anything planned with bad intent.

I was not ready to receive the guidance that got me closer to my desires. When I graduated college, I did not expect to end up on the couch at my grandparents house, but I did. My intentions were full of fear and worry, so that is what I received more of.

What if I decided to be open to what life had for me? What if I decided to feel worthy of my dreams? All I saw was my fabulous life, yet I didn’t believe I was worthy of living that life. And from the beginning all I put into my desires was fear and worry. That was a poor place to try and manifest from: wanting, fearing, and worrying.

Your outcome will be clear from the beginning because it will be whatever you are putting into your desire at that moment!

I changed my intentions, and I changed my life. I stopped focusing on what type of role I would have in whatever company hired me, and I became patient. My intentions became heart-focused and not fear-based. I decided I wanted happiness on my own terms and that is what The Universe has given me.

Intention Makes You Surrender

I wish I could tell you that suffering post-graduation was on my list of things to do when I was growing up, but it wasn't.

In the first grade, I got my first journal and I knew that I wanted to be a writer. I thought I took all the necessary steps by getting my degree and writing about a ton of topics I didn’t care about. My desire was to be on staff at Ebony or Essence, eventually working my way up to editor-in-chief. I was gonna write about cool stuff like fashion, music, and culture—but The Universe was like "Nah, sis" and here I am.

That is the thing about Intention, it will make you surrender to the will of whatever is guiding us through the sky.

When I first began this journey, I sat down and made of list of everything that I desired. On that list, I put that I wanted to be great because it would allow me to be independent, inspirational, and live in a house with stairs. I am still working on all those things, but I set an intention that resonates with what I truly desire for my life. I trust that The Universe will lead me to the place of my highest good. I am not too sure where I will be tomorrow, but I am surrendering because whoever is in charge has a better view than I do.

I trust that The Universe will lead me to the place of my highest good.

The idea of letting go of your dreams and leaving everything up to chance is incredibly scary. Trust me, I am full of fears. Yet when I let go and let The Universe take me where I am supposed to go, my desires show up quicker and life becomes 100x better.

Setting intentions is a great way to enhance your magic because it gets you into the groove of living life with purpose. You can add more magic into your life by being honest about what is happening now and how you can change it.

Sometimes we are stuck because The Universe is preparing the field for us. It may seem like nothing good ever comes to those who wait (because setting intentions that align with your purpose and your heart requires a whole lot of the p-word), but you truly have to believe in your worthiness to receive what your heart desires.

Start setting those magical intentions, and in no time you will be singing “Impossible!," at the top of your lungs!

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12 Signs You're Doing Way Better Than You Give Yourself Credit For

It is so easy to get wrapped up in what we don’t have and haven’t accomplished that we don’t always realize what we do have. It’s easy to feel like we’re not doing as well as we should, but sometimes we have to pay attention and measure our progress more objectively.
Here are 12 signs you’re actually doing much better than you may think. Maybe it’s time you appreciate the strengths within you that you take for granted.

1. You Learn From Your Mistakes

If you can convert your struggles and challenges into valuable lessons, you’re definitely doing something right. Mistakes have the power to turn us into something better than we were before. If you acknowledge and learn from them, mistakes are among the greatest of teachers and an important part of most success stories.

2. You Seek New Opportunities

If you’re seeking new opportunities instead of sitting and passively waiting for the right chance to come to you, you’ve taken one of the most important steps toward success. Great things don’t happen on their own, but life gets better when you treat every new opportunity as a way to expand and explore the possibilities before you.

3. You Pursue Your Passions

If you are pursuing your passion and going after what you want, you are already better off than most people. Wildly successful people pursue their passions, while others refuse to let go of struggling with their problems.

4. You Believe in Yourself

It’s one of those things that’s easy to say but not so easy to actually do. We all harbor an inner saboteur who wants to keep us stuck—but it’s your choice whether to listen to that negative inner voice or shout it down with faith in your own capabilities and strength.

5. You’ve Mastered Your Mindsets

Our life is made up of our thoughts, and if you want to accomplish great things you have to learn to manage your mindset—the thoughts that become actions that become who you are. If you can manage a positive mindset, you can exert a positive control over your destiny.

6. You Keep Trying

It can be among the hardest of decisions: whether to give something up or try harder. But if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do things you’ve never done. When you stop trying is when you stop caring, but tenacity is the antidote to failure—whether it’s real or potential.

7. You Embrace Challenges

You don’t grow when things are easy, but when you embrace your challenges. The greater the challenges, the greater the potential for growth and opportunity.

8. You Face Your Fears

Most people see fear coming and run. But if you can face your fear, you become stronger than you were. Fear is nothing more than an obstacle to progress and achievement, but if you can treat is as you would any other obstacle, you’ll be far better off than someone who had never been afraid.

9. You Care for Your Health

It may be a cliché, but health really is one of the most important things you can possess. Your body is a priceless possession, and even if you’re young and vigorous, it’s important to take good care of it and appreciate it.

10. You Help People

Success has nothing to do with what you gain, but is all about what you do for others. If you are helping others and lifting others up, then you are more successful than most; the greatest success any of us can know is helping another grow and succeed.

11. You’re Free to Do What You Want

If you have freedom, you’re far better off than all those who worry about what others will say or think. They don’t have the luxury of doing what they’d like but are always second-guessing or defending their own choices.

12. You’re Not the Same Person You Were Last Year

If you are still learning, still growing, still developing, congratulations. You’re constantly adding value not only to yourself, but those around you.


Check the list and ask yourself: Are you really doing better than you think you are?

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Merry Christmas

 

Merry Christmas everyone

Feeling sad on the holidays? Me too. Here’s all I know how to do.

Maybe you like hearing Christmas music in September. Maybe you can’t get enough of Rudolph’s story of triumph over reindeer bullying. And let’s all pour another glass of egg nog!

If you’re wearing matching sweaters while stringing lights and singing carols with your family, good for you. I really do mean it. Take joy whenever and however you can.

The thing is, not everyone feels joyful this season. In fact, not everyone likes the holidays in general. Some of us actively dread this season, because it tends to correspond with seasons of sadness. 

Sometimes these seasons of sadness are connected to specific events, and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes we feel alone, even if we’re around good people who love and care for us.
Sadness like this isn’t usually simple. You can’t just tell someone, “Cheer up!” and witness their transformation in front of your eyes. (And unfortunately it doesn’t usually work when you say it to yourself either.)

There isn’t an easy answer for these things, at least not one that I’ve found. Mostly I want you to know that even if you feel alone, you’re not the only one who’s struggling. And there will be a better season at some point, hopefully soon and “just around the corner,” but even if not, it’s still on the way at some point.

In the meantime….
Having some perspective is good. You don’t sleep on the street, do you? You have access to clean water, right? And presumably you’re not fleeing Syria or another war-torn country. To be clear, thinking of other people in need doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be sad. Don’t feel guilty about how you feel—you already have enough negative feelings. It just helps to have a little perspective.

Giving to others and helping however you can is also good. It won’t solve all your problems, but it can help other people with theirs. Give however you can, wherever you can, and in whatever way feels right to you. If nothing else, you’ll make someone else’s life a little better.

Keep doing things you know are good for you. Is exercise helpful? For most people it is, so try to stay active. Listen to music you like. Go for walks. Do something you enjoy, and if it doesn’t feel enjoyable now, that’s okay too.

Know yourself and do what’s best for you. Some people shouldn’t drink alcohol during extended times of sadness. Others can handle it in moderation, and it may even help. The same is true of caffeine, sugar, or other substances. You know yourself best.

When something good happens, appreciate it! Sometimes a reprieve arrives in an unexpected surprise. Well, don’t ask too many questions! Just like the happy people in the ridiculous sweaters, take joy however you can.

Make a gratitude list. The other day I wrote down a list of 10 things I appreciated even in the midst of a season of sadness. Then the next day I did it again. Even in the worst of times, there’s a list waiting for you to write it, too.

Once again, remember that everyone you meet is fighting their own hard battle.
The holidays aren’t a joyous time for everyone. If you’re struggling, hold on till a new year comes around. Keep believing that the best is yet to come, even if you can’t see it.

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What a happy photo :)

50 New Year's Resolution Ideas And How To Achieve Each Of Them

The New Year is slowly nearing, and with the holiday season already upon us many people are indulging in retrospection and reevaluating some of their life choices. New Year’s resolutions are the perfect opportunity for all those who have failed to start making the changes that they said they would make next week, next month, or perhaps when winter starts.

Well, now’s your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make, and being the charitable and caring bunch that we are here at Lifehack, we’ve decided to give you a bit of help – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

What follows is a list of 50 common New Year’s resolutions with a piece of advice and plenty of links to useful articles that deal with the issue in greater detail. If you are looking for effective ways of changing your life for the better, then you’ll be sure to find tons of useful information here.

• 1. Get in shape: Losing weight is the top resolution for Americans, and combined with “exercise more” and “stay fit and healthy” it is something that over a third of the population wishes to achieve. It’s easy enough to start an exercise and diet program, but the trick is to find a decent one that will give you steady results and will be easy to stick to in the long run. Have a look at these tricks, hacks, exercises and mistakes to avoid to make the best our of your resolution.


• 2. Start eating healthier food, and less food overall: This is usually an extension of the previous resolution. Switching to a healthier diet can be incredibly tricky when we are surrounded by cheap junk food. However, with a good amount of determination and some basic tips you can slowly develop healthier eating habits. Learn to control emotional eating, be aware of reasons for diets to fail, make use of these tricks and have a look at these awesome and healthy recipes

• 3. Stop procrastinating: The biggest barrier that keeps most people from reaching their goals is the desire to relax and do something fun instead of working hard. Once you get used to procrastinating it’s difficult to snap yourself out of it, so you’ll need to put in a lot of work to change this bad habit. There are many useful tips out there to find your way to stop procrastinating. There are also tools which can help you achieve this task.

• 4. Improve your concentration and mental skills: People have been trying to find ways to improve their focus and cognitive capacities for thousands of years, and most ancient civilizations had some combination of mental exercise and herbal medicine to help them reach this goal. Today we can use anything from apps to ancient meditation techniques to boost concentration and hone our mental skills. If you go through with this, you will be able to control your mood, learn faster and have an easier time solving problems.

• 5. Meet new people: When we get stuck in a rut, we usually end up staying at home most of the time, missing out on a lot of interesting opportunities for networking and having fun. Meeting new people can be beneficial to your mental well-being and help your career, so don’t be afraid to get out there and make some friends. Overcome your shyness, get some knowledge and go and get to know new and interesting people.

• 6. Become more active: Some people don’t really have a big weight problem, and they even get some exercise a few times a week, but they just sit around the most of the time at home and at work, which can have a negative effect on their posture and health. In that case, all you need is to find ways of moving around more throughout the day instead of staying hunched over the computer. It’s even more fun if you share your activity with friends and family.

• 7. Become more confident and take some chances: If you are confident other people notice it, and it is much easier to have your opinions heard, ask people out on dates and get ahead at work. A good dose of self-confidence will help you lead a much happier life overall. Don’t hesitate to get some input on ways to boost your confidence.

• 8. Earn more money: Even billionaires are always looking for ways to earn more money, and we common folk can definitely use an additional source of income to make life a bit more comfortable. Fortunately there are plenty of options available, like having sidejobs, working as a freelancer or using the internet to your advantage.

• 9. Become more polite: Good manners have always been an important part of a civilized society. They make it easier to connect with others, avoid offending people and will ensure that others perceive you as a good and trustworthy person. So know the etiquette, be prepared or other manners in other countries, deal with rude people in the right way and learn how to say no.

• 10. Reduce stress: They say that stress is one of the biggest killers out there, and it can have a very destructive effect on your relationships as well as your health. It may be an unavoidable side effect of our hectic modern lifestyles, but it can be effectively managed with the help of useful, unconventional and easy to practice tricks for stress management.

• 11. Learn to be happier with your life: Even those that are in decent shape, make a good living and have stress under control can still be unhappy. It takes time and patience to learn how to find joy in the little things and not to let problems bring you down.

• 12. Get more quality sleep: With big TV’s, computers, smartphones, tablets and all sorts of gadgets with glowing lights and beeping alerts, it can be hard to get enough sleep at night. You should be gunning for at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and there are fairly simple ways to achieve this number if you make use of science and everday hacks.

• 13. Give up cigarettes: A bit of bad habit that a lot of people don’t know how to kick, smoking will not only endanger your health, but can burn a hole in your wallet as well. Just be prepared to dedicate a lot of will power to giving up cigarettes once and for all.

• 14. Watch less TV: The average person wastes a lot of time in front of the TV, time that could have been better spent developing skills, learning or keeping your body active. Once you manage to cut down on TV time, you will realize just how long and productive a day can really be.

• 15. Read more: Books are an excellent way to gain a lot of knowledge on a huge variety of topics, and are also a great exercise for your brain. It’s not that difficult to go through 20 or more books in a year – you only need to make it a habit, discover your type of books and find a bit of time for reading here and there.

• 16. Find a significant other: We all need someone to hold at night, talk to and share our deepest secrets with, but finding the right person is a matter of trial and error. We need to go out and get to know a bunch of potential partners before we can find the one that we can get along with really well. Get inspired on your way towards love by these tips on the best places to meet people, asking someone out, and having an amazing and original first date.

• 17. Have better sex: Any healthy relationship requires a good deal of intimacy, and sex can actually help keep us mentally and physically healthy. The idea is to make it a fun and rewarding experience, and this is something that comes with practice and exercise.

• 18. Become tidier: There are a lot of slobs out there who can’t really get their stuff organized, and a cluttered desk or chaotic home will negatively affect your productivity and even your mood, so it helps to clear the clutter, clean your house and lead a tidier and more organized life.
 
• 19. Learn how to dress with style: The way you dress can say a lot about you, and wearing the right clothes can make you seem powerful and confident, which in turn can help you land a job, get promoted, and catch the eye of a lovely guy or girl. No matter if you’re male or female, know the dresscode and live with style.

• 20. Spend more time with the people that matter: There is just too little time in this life for us to waste it on insincere, duplicitous and toxic people. We should focus on the people who we care about deeply and who care about us, as this is the best way to stay happy.

• 21. Start drinking in moderation or quit drinking altogether: While it is completely safe and healthy to drink one or two servings of an alcoholic beverage of your choice per day, not a lot of people can say that they can follow this rule effectively. Getting your drinking under control has plenty of benefits, but it can be a difficult process.

• 22. Get out of debt: You can’t really move forward in life if you are weighed down by debt. The road to financial freedom is a rocky one, but it is definitely manageable with a bit of planning and self-restraint. Take a look at these strategies and methods and pay off your debt. You won’t believe how good it will feel.

• 23. Start saving money: Once you have your debt under control, it’s time to start putting some money aside. A rainy day fund and some extra money that can go towards traveling abroad, fixing up the house or buying a new car are a welcome change of pace. Make use of these hacks and apps to save money efficiently.
• 24. Learn a new language: Not only will learning a new language help improve your communication skills, it will also look great on your resume and possibly open up some doors for you. These days there are plenty of resources that allow you to learn a language for free and in your spare time.

• 25. Volunteer and give more to charity: To devote your time and energy to helping those in need is a noble gesture and a reward in itself, but it is also an opportunity to meet new people, learn new skills and boost your resume. Here’s how you can find time to volunteer in your busy life.

• 26. Pick up useful skills or fun hobbies: Just sitting around all day won’t get you anywhere. It is much better to use your free time in a constructive manner and pick up new skills while having fun at the same time. The Future-You will be glad that you did. No matter if you’re interested in communication skills or sports, find out how to learn new skills and hobbies in a short time.

• 27. Learn to let go of grudges and avoid moping: Times can be hard, and it may take a lot to overcome adversity, but sitting around and moping about it is just counterproductive. If you have a big fight with someone and fall out or get hurt over a small issue, you will only lose a friend or life partner and remain sad and bitter. Forgiveness is a much healthier way to deal with issues that should be left in the past.




• 28. Adopt a cute pet: There are tons of animal lovers out there that would be great at caring for a pet, but they often overthink things, while some people just rush out and get a pet without understanding the responsibility involved. Be sure you know what you are in for and find a pet that fits your living conditions and lifestyle.

• 29. Become more organized: It doesn’t matter how much time you have on your hands if you can’t manage it properly – you’ll just spend most of the day running around aimlessly. When you get organized there will suddenly be more time to spare and things will start falling into place. Make it a habit, get help from apps and tools and enjoy your newly found leisure-time.

• 30. Travel more and see the world: You’ll need to have your finances in order, get the right equipment and invest some time and effort before you consider traveling across the globe, but there are ways of experiencing different cultures and visiting faraway places even on a tighter budget.

• 31. Learn to cook: Cooking is one of the essential skill that every man and woman should possess. It allows you to save money, eat the food you love just the way you like it and impress dates with lovely meals shared under candlelight. If you go through useful tips, keep your kitchen clean and avoid common mistakes, nothing stands between you an your 3-course-meal.

• 32. Go see your doctor more often: Staying healthy should be your top priority, but many people seem frighten of doctors and don’t go to the hospital nearly as often as they should, often waiting for their condition to significantly worsen. Regular checkups are a must, no matter how healthy you feel at the moment.

• 33. Reinvent yourself: If you don’t feel quite happy no matter what you do, it is perhaps time to make some serious changes in your life. Reinventing yourself can give you a whole new perspective on life and take you in directions you may never have dreamed were possible.

• 34. Stop being late all the time: Punctuality is a virtue that is held in high regard in our society. Being on time is a mark of a true professional, a dependable friend and caring partner, so it is a good idea to pick up a few tricks that can help you stay on time.

• 35. Learn how to be more self-reliant: Technology, a relatively decent government and corporations offering cheap ready-to-eat food and all manner of useful tools – these things have made us somewhat spoiled, and we often get well into adulthood without having what it takes to be independent and self-reliant. These skills are important to learn

• 36. Turn your hobby into a career: If we could all manage to marry fun and productivity, and be able to make money doing what we love, we’d be a much more content and well-balanced society. This may not always be possible, but there are cases where a hobby can be turned into a lucrative career.

• 37. Get over an ex: It may be better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved, but it still hurts like crazy. Healing a broken heart is a process that takes time, but there are ways  and tricks to make it through this difficult time without too much pain
• 38. Learn to control your emotions: Uncontrolled anger can get you into a lot of trouble, but things like jealousy and pride are destructive in all circumstances. Gaining control over your feelings allows you to keep a level head and think more rationally, even during emotionally charged conflict situations.

• 39. Start being more responsible: A big part of growing up into a mature adult is the ability to think before making a decision. It is important to take responsibility for ones actions and avoid blaming everything on someone else, just as it is important to protect your family and provide for them.

• 40. Learn more about art, music, culture etc.: The best way to fit in when talking to a variety of people from different backgrounds is to have a well-rounded education. Topics like art, music, history and culture often baffle people, but they can be easy to comprehend if you spend enough time learning about them using helpful websites and online courses.

• 41. Spend less time on social media: Some people might not spend hours in front of the TV, or playing video games, but social media has become a serious addiction among a wide range of demographics. It’s fine to stay in touch with friends and family, but if you consistently spend more than an hour every day on social media, it’s time to make a change.

• 42. Learn how to defend yourself: Being able to ensure your own safety, and the safety of those you love, is a very important skillset to have. It’s not all about groin kicks and palm strikes, however. You need to learn how to conduct yourself and what kind of behavior to look out for in others
• 43. Become more romantic: Romance is often the first casualty in longer, more serious relationships, but it doesn’t have to wither away. A few romantic gestures here and there can keep the passion going for decades. It will be fun, even if you’re not the romantic type.

• 44. Start remembering important dates: Speaking about romance and keeping a serious relationship fun, you don’t want to keep forgetting birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates. There are plenty of memory tricks that take very little time to master, so you’ll never forget another date again.

• 45. Become more social: Being a man, or woman, about town has its perks. You get to have fun, meet new people and find out interesting things, but you can also develop leadership skills and learn to work in a team. Even if you are an introvert  or very shy and feel uncomfortable talking to others, there are ways to become a fairly active member of a community.

• 46. Start being more creative: There are times when we get mentally fatigued and our creativity just goes out the window. This is particularly bad if your job or hobby depends on you coming up with fresh ideas and thinking outside the box. As with anything else, there are many ressources that help you spark your creativity in a number of different ways.

• 47. Start expressing yourself artistically: While some of us are more logical, with a scientific mind, most people still have a bit of a creative spark in them. Expressing yourself in some creative artistic way is a great form of stress relief and helps keep your mind sharp. Some of these activities will also help you stay active and burn some calories. So go in the arts, write, craft, make DIYprojects – whatever makes your soul free.


• 48. Face your fears and insecurities: You will find this particular point masked beneath other New Year’s resolutions, but fear and insecurity are often the cause of several problems that we want to address. You need to think of it as surviving and controlling your fear rather than overcoming it, and it will enable you to shed off a lot of the insecurities that you have.

• 49. Start writing a book/journal: You’d be surprised to know just how many people out there have an interesting story to tell, but lack the confidence and skill to write everything down. Even if it is just a few random thoughts scribbled daily in a journal, you shouldn’t be afraid to give writing a go with a few tips and tricks.

• 50. Stick to the good healthy habits you’ve developed: The last, and most important point to mention is that all the positive changes you make have to be permanent. You will need to work on sticking with the good habits you have adopted, until they just become a natural part of who you are. That is how you achieve true self-improvement.
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Well, there you have it – an extensive list of advice, tips and tricks to help you see your New Year’s resolution through and make some long-term changes in your life. I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

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