How waking up every day at 4.30am can change your life | Filipe Castro M...

Learn to Forgive Yourself by Asking These 4 Questions

The yearning for personal redemption could be considered the bedrock of many modern religions. Humans inherently make mistakes, which causes us to feel shame, guilt, anxiety and unhappiness. To be redeemed of our mistakes equals freedom from that guilt and fear—a fresh start and the possibility of joy. In religious communities, this fresh start might require some act of self-sacrifice, punishment or renewed devotion.


In the secular world of modern psychology, personal redemption is equally important when it comes to emotional well-being, and it is studied and strived for through the parallel path of self-forgiveness. Swap “mind” for “soul,” and the narrative plays out largely the same. You do something—break a promise to a friend, maybe—that you feel badly about. The incident eats at you. Your self-condemnation might even make you question your worth as a “good” person. Your stress spikes, your self-esteem suffers and it’s hard to enjoy daily life.

The religious model for redemption seeks divine forgiveness. But restored emotional and physical health, according to positive psychologists, hinges on forgiving oneself.

Marilyn Cornish, Ph.D., an assistant professor of counseling at Auburn University College of Education in Auburn, Alabama, developed a four-part therapeutic model for self-forgiveness: responsibility, remorse, restoration and renewal. Ask yourself the following questions to achieve your own personal redemption.

Why did I do it?

Self-forgiveness can become self-delusion if you don’t accept the blame for what you’ve done. Don’t make excuses, rationalize your behavior or blame other people. Look inside yourself to understand the root of your behavior.

Are you a people pleaser who takes on too much and then disappoints the same people you wanted to please? Does your own insecurity cause you to diminish the success of others? Once you accept responsibility, you can begin to make amends and prevent yourself from repeating the same offenses.

Am I thinking of myself more than the person I hurt?

Try to direct your feelings of shame and guilt toward empathy rather than self-criticism. Everyone makes mistakes, and beating yourself up doesn’t help anyone. Think instead of the feelings of the other person: Is she as offended as you imagined? Why might she be particularly hurt? Has she made it clear she is upset with you?

It might be the case that your embarrassment and remorse are outsized for the situation. If not, you can begin to make  amends.

How can I right my wrong?

Here’s the hard part. Now that you understand your motivation and have considered the feelings of your friend/relative/colleague, you need to do what you can to repair the damage. Apologize without excuses. Commit to doing better.

What if the other person doesn’t forgive me?

They might not. It’s no one else’s job to absolve you, and your self-forgiveness can’t rely on an outside pardon. If you have done the work of understanding your wrong and have done all you can to rectify it, it’s time to move on.

You might always feel guilty, but lingering self-punishment and rumination will only take energy away from bettering yourself. Cornish recommends writing yourself a letter of forgiveness that outlines what you’ve learned and the positive changes you’ve made as a result. In one study, sober alcoholics who wrote narratives of their self-redemption (describing their last drink, what made them stop and the improvements in their life since) reduced their risk of relapse and maintained sobriety for longer than those who didn’t.

In that way, forgiving yourself is an act of compassion toward yourself—and others.

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Louise L. Hay - The Universe Loves Grateful People

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How grateful are you ?

The Solution to Your Time Management Problem Is Simpler Than You Think

How often have we complained about time and our complete lack of it?

Time, for most of us, is inconsistent, unreliable, and fleeting. It’s like a dog we let loose from its leash and can’t catch up to, or our last poker chip we’re unsure if we should throw in the pile. Which is why we’re always chasing and begging and bartering for more of it. Otherwise, how else are we able to get everything done?

This was how I thought about time, until I came across a Medium article titled “Why You Really Don’t Have a Time Management Problem” that had me completely reevaluating how I tackle my days.

Author Charlie Gilkey first points out why my analogies above are conceptually wrong, the most obvious reason being that, without exception, there will always be 24 hours in a day:

Unless you’re close to a scientific breakthrough that allows you to personally bend spacetime, you can’t speed it up, slow it down, optimize it, or maximize it. A second is a second, though your internal experience of a second can vary considerably.

Deep.

He then goes on to say that it’s the “metaphors” and illusions of time that make it feel so much scarcer. For example, we choose to say that we “use” time, but in reality “we do things through time,” the idea being that we don’t actually have control over or the ability to exercise time, only the ability to track or follow it.

Which then leads to his conclusion (and a groundbreaking new mantra I will swear by from now on):

People who think they have time management problems really have priority management problems, which means, at root, they have self-management problems…[T]here are only so many priorities that a given group of people can address in a given slice of time. One of the chief jobs of the leaders is to ensure that people are addressing the most important priorities in any given slice of time.

Basically, we spend too much time focused on how much (or how little) time we have rather than what we choose to do during that time. When we turn our attention to our priorities—and accept that not everything will get done at once—time no longer becomes a debilitating factor.

So, the next time you’re complaining about how bad you are at managing time or how quick it flies by, consider your priorities and ask yourself (and your manager) the following questions:

• Are you focusing your energy on the right things?
• Are you doing things in order of importance or urgency?
• Are you wasting energy or resources elsewhere (a.k.a., are you succumbing to distractions or menial tasks)?
• Are you trying to do too much at once?

Figuring the answers out to these questions just might make your days feel less crunched and far more spacious. And that would be a pretty nice way to go through life—having enough time.

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"Don't manage time, manage focus" | Savinda Ranathunga | TEDxThammasatU

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A different take on time management, think is will work for you.

Why the Rich are Getting Richer | Robert Kiyosaki | TEDxUCSD

Just a few months ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who was considering trying her hand at full-time freelancing. Over coffee, I ran through all of my standard advice, tips, and encouragement, and then offered her the floor—expecting her to jump right in with the routine questions I’ve grown so used to answering.

Instead, she asked something that made me pause. A question so seemingly simple, yet incredibly complex to answer: Are you happy?

I’ll admit it—I stared at her slack-jawed for a moment before sputtering out what was likely a totally unconvincing, “Well, of course. So, so happy! I love what I do… absolutely love it!”
She nodded and the conversation moved on, but I still found myself thinking about her question for the rest of the day (or, perhaps more honestly, the entire week).

Seriously...Was I Happy?

Was I happy? I mean, yes, I’m passionate about my work and I can find plenty of attributes to list in the “pros” column of my career.

But, I’m human—I still encounter my fair share of days when a snarky email from a client sends my mood into a nosedive or seeing that a different freelancer has landed a big byline makes me want to throw up my hands, call it quits, and pursue my second-in-line dream career of professional dog walker/taco connoisseur.

It was after several fruitless periods of self-reflection that I realized something: I am happy in my career, but I don’t always let myself be happy.

What exactly does that mean? Well, I’m pleased to say that I have more than I could have ever wished for in my professional life. But, even so, there are certain beliefs and expectations that hold me back from truly relishing the here and now.

Don’t worry—I won’t leave you hanging with that philosophical morsel. Here are three thoughts I needed to kick to the curb in order to allow myself to feel truly satisfied in my career. Chances are, you could benefit from doing the exact same thing.

1. “That Person’s Job Is Better Than Mine”

Have you ever heard that sentiment that says something about comparison being the thief of joy? That’s painfully true—particularly when it comes to your career.

Constantly keeping a watchful eye on what other people are doing and accomplishing quickly leads you to believe that—while you might be happy—you could be happier. And that, my friend, is a very slippery slope.

It’s so tempting (and almost irresistibly easy) to match your own reality up against everyone else’s highlight reel. But, it always turns out to be a counterproductive and disheartening activity.
So, all together now—let’s take a deep breath and let go of the idea that everybody’s enjoying much greener pastures than we are. I assure you, it’s not the truth.

2. “If I Could Only ____, Then I’d Be Happy”

Do you ever feel like there’s a finish line for happiness? That there’s this magic mile marker you need to step over in order to feel like you can finally paste on a smile and feel content with what you have?
Here’s the truth: Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s not something that arrives with booming fanfare when you finally land that promotion, make that career change, achieve a certain income, or score a specific job title.

Why? Well, for starters, as soon as you do accomplish that milestone that you’ve placed on a pedestal, something else is bound to swoop in and quickly take its place. And, secondly, you have no way of knowing whether or not reaching that objective will actually increase your happiness.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself. But, there is something wrong with having this entire laundry list of requirements you need to meet before you let yourself truly enjoy your life and career.

3. “Happiness Means Being Happy 100% of the Time”

Generally, you like what you do. But, you don’t get a thrill at the idea of Monday morning and a crammed inbox awaiting you. You don’t cartwheel out of bed on weekdays and tap dance your way into the office.

So, are you really all that happy? Surely, this can’t be it—happiness should look a lot more like pure, unadulterated bliss than your afternoon spent fighting with the printer’s paper tray.
Listen, if you take nothing else away from this, make it this one thing: You don’t need to be cheerful all of the time in order to consider yourself satisfied in your career. Happiness doesn’t mean you’re never going to experience a bad day or a groan-worthy task. And, the people who tell you they don’t have those sorts of experiences? Chances are, they’re lying to you.


For me, decoding whether or not I was actually happy in my career was deceptively difficult. No, my job didn’t make me feel like I would rather zip myself into a sleeping bag filled with hornets. But, I wasn’t buzzing with excitement at the idea of tackling my to-do list either.
Fortunately, I’ve finally found the answer: I really am happy with what I do for a living. And, take it from me—letting go of the above three beliefs made reaching that conclusion a heck of a lot easier.

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How Your Words Impact Your Success

Sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. It’s the difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. It’s consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don’t want and to start saying what you do want. It’s faith—believing in the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

Instead of saying, “What if somebody doesn’t respond?” start saying, “What if they do respond?” Instead of saying, “What if someone says no?” say, “What if they say yes?” Instead of saying, “What if they start and quit?” say, “What if they start and stay?” Instead of saying, “What if it doesn’t work out?” say, “What if it does work out?”

When you start thinking and saying what you really want, then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple—just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, “I need $10.” The parents say, “No comprende. That’s not how you get $10. That kind of language doesn’t work here. But ‘How can I earn $10?’ might.”

There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody—but you have to learn the magic words to get it. To get everything you could possibly want, you just have to learn the philosophy. How could you earn $10?

You can’t go to the soil and say, “Give me a harvest.” You know the soil smiles and says, “Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed?” And if you say to the soil, “I’ve got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?” And the soil says, “No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I’ll be working while you’re sleeping.” These simple principles are sometimes just a matter of language.

It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don’t work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the lesson, not studying your language—not being willing to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news. You can start this process anytime. For me it was at age 25. At 25 I was broke. Six years later, I was a millionaire.

You might ask, “What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?”

No.

Any person, any six years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, you can learn the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but the same changes and the same rewards are available for those who pay that “six-year” price. And you might find that whether it’s in the beginning to help get you started or in the middle to keep you on track, your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

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Quote - Dr Demartini

How to love and be loved | Billy Ward | TEDxFoggyBottom

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What do you think.

3 Valuable Strategies for Practicing Self-Respect

In 1961, author Joan Didion, then a 26-year-old Vogue editor, penned a seminal essay for the magazine titled, “Self-Respect: Its Source, Its Power.” In it she wrote, “To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, phenobarbital and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commission and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice or carelessness.”

Full disclosure: We gave a passing thought to the idea of just reprinting Didion’s essay. How can we write on a topic for which the last word was said more than half a century ago?

Of course, that doubt itself doesn’t display much self-respect. But falling short of Didion’s prose doesn’t make our magazine any less valued. And knowing that is healthy in and of itself.

Accepting one’s failings, rather than being tortured by them, is a self-respect starting point. Appreciating your intrinsic value is “a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth,” Didion wrote.

Here are some additional strategies to get you started on the path to self-respect.

1. You are a good person!

That statement, or whatever best suits you, is what you should tell yourself in the mirror every day. You might feel silly doing so, but the effect of positive self-talk is far from foolish. One 2015 study of 2,400 adolescents (who are no doubt in peak esteem-precarious years) found that self-compassion offsets the negative effects of low self-esteem, which include, according to other studies, depression and anxiety. Self-compassion, the study’s researchers wrote, “involves accepting self-doubt, negative self-evaluations and adversity as part of the human condition,” as well as simply being kind to yourself.

Remind yourself of your strengths daily. You’re a good parent. Or maybe you tell the best stories. So what if you’re awkward in social situations or not as talented of a cook as you’d like to be? No one is perfect, and it’s our imperfections—and self-improvement journeys—that make us so fascinating.

2. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t agree.

“The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others,” Didion wrote. Research has borne out her conclusion. A sense of self-worth built by and dependent upon the opinions of other people—conditional self-esteem—is a house of cards, liable to collapse at any moment.

Social media has made conditional self-esteem an even bigger trap than when Didion was a young woman. A 2014 study from the University of Houston found that the more time people spend on Facebook, the more depressive symptoms they have. Why? The social comparisons these platforms rely upon—Who takes the most vacations? Whose kids are the most successful?—cause us to focus on our conditional, rather than our actual self-worth.

3. Identify your core values.

Limiting comparisons (to famous authors or otherwise) doesn’t solve the root problem of conditional self-worth, though. Valuing yourself for who you are—and not who you think you should be—is not easy. It helps to find a therapist who can help you work through your own self-confidence roadblocks. But one way to start is by figuring out what you truly value. Self-esteem comes when you’re living a life that’s aligned with your values.

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Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Circumstances! (Law Of Attraction) Pow...

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What do you think about this.

Rohn: Begin With Gratitude and Watch the Miracles Flow Your Way

Is thankfulness a survival skill? Maybe most of you would respond with, “No, thankfulness is not key to survival,” and I would tend to agree with you. Most of us have probably already solved the necessary problems of survival, gone beyond that and are now working to achieve our desires.

But let me give you this key phrase, “Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.” I believe one of the greatest and perhaps one of the simplest lessons in life we can learn is to be thankful for what we have already received and accomplished.

Both the years and the experiences have brought me here to where I stand today, but it is the thankfulness that opened the windows of opportunities, of blessings, of unique experiences to flow my way. My gratitude starts with my parents who raised me, gave me an incredible foundation that has lasted me all of these years and continues with the mentors that I’ve met along the way who absolutely changed and revolutionized my life, my income, my bank account, my future. I am also very thankful for the people, the associations, for the ideas, for the chance to work and labor, and to produce results. I’m grateful for it all.

Always start with thanksgiving; be thankful for what you already have and see the miracles that come from this one simple act.

Now thankfulness is just the beginning. Next, you’ve got to challenge yourself to produce. Produce more ideas than you need for yourself so you can share and give your ideas away. That is called fruitfulness and abundance—it means working on producing more than you need for yourself so you can begin blessing others, blessing your nation and blessing your enterprise. Once abundance starts to come, once someone becomes incredibly productive, it’s amazing what the numbers turn out to be.

But to begin this incredible process of blessing, it often starts with the act of thanksgiving and gratitude, being thankful for what you already have and for what you’ve already done. Begin the act of thanksgiving today and watch the miracles flow your way.

Source 

The psychology of self-motivation | Scott Geller | TEDxVirginiaTech

6 Classic Career Books Successful People Will Always Read

Whether you’re looking for a new job or just wanting to move up in your current career, there are loads of books filled with advice to help you out. Even though there are plenty of newer reads, sometimes you just can’t beat the classics.
Here’s a roundup of six old-school career books. Yes, your parents may have read them, too; but the advice is so legendary—and useful—they’re still worth downloading today:

1. The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success by Nicholas Lore

Are you looking for a new job? Maybe you’re just hoping to reignite your passion for your current position? Whichever it may be, The Pathfinder , originally published in 1998, is the book for you. Lore aims to help you find a career path that feels good and fulfills you. With over 100 self-assessments, this isn’t a book you’ll be able to read and forget about. It puts you to work! In fact, it’s pretty similar to having your own personal career coach !
Already read this classic? Read another! Try I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher with Barbara Smith.

2. Business Adventures: Twelve Classic Tales From the World of Wall Street by John Brooks

Did you know: Warren Buffett lent his copy of Business Adventures to Bill Gates. Gates went on to say that it was “ the best business book [he has] ever read .” That means it must be good, right? Originally published in 1969, it includes many drama-filled stories about Wall Street that will keep you entertained all the way through. But it’s more than just salacious: You’ll get the inside scoop on the world of finance with a look at the 1962 stock market crash, the fall of a major brokerage firm, and more.
Want more personal work-related stories? Read Mistakes I Made at Work: 25 Influential Women Reflect on What They Got Out of Getting it Wrong by Jessical Bacal.

3. Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement by Tony Robbins

In this book, Robbins takes readers, step-by-step, through how to perform at your best, become a leader, gain self-confidence, find the five keys to wealth and happiness, and more. Although this book was originally published in 1987, people still use it to achieve their goals and find success.
Want more tips on how to be your best? Read Manage Your Day-to-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus, and Sharpen Your Creative Mind by Jocelyn Glei.

4. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Perhaps the ultimate career classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People is touted on its cover as the, “only book you need to lead you to success.” It’s packed with advice to teach you how to handle your relationships with others and the six ways to get people to like you without making them feel manipulated. You’ll even learn how to win people over to your way of thinking!
Have you already read this book? Try: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes.

5. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

First published in 1990, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has gone on to sell over 25 million copies worldwide. And for good reason! Covey shares techniques to help you adopt the very traits that make others so successful. To learn these elusive habits, you must first accomplish what he refers to as a “paradigm shift.” Covey says this shift will change how you act regarding productivity, time management, positive thinking, and more.
Already read this classic? Try Leave Your Mark: Land Your Dream Job. Kill It in Your Career. Rock Social Media by Aliza Licht.

6. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Although this book isn’t necessarily career-specific, Think and Grow Rich is about finding success and wealth in your life. This 1930s classic—yep, your grandparents may have read it, too—shares the secret some of the wealthiest people of that time used to earn their money. If you’ve ever wondered how men like Andrew Carnegie and Henry Ford earned their fortunes, this book has the answer! In addition, Hill also outlines his 13-step program to finding success.
Already read the original version? Check out Think and Grow Rich for Women by Sharon Lechter.


Yes, it’s important to stay on top of the latest career trends and thinking. But in the spirit of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” I highly recommend checking out one of these classic reads. They’re still in print today because the advice is just that good.

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WAKE UP WITH DETERMINATION -Motivational Video|Morning Motivation|Motiva...

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How do you spend your time.

It Only Takes 6 Steps to Plan Your Success

Our results are only as good as our plan.

My mentor Earl Shoaff taught me that it’s not what happens that determines the major part of our future—because what happens, happens to us all. Instead, he taught me that the key is what we do about it. If we start the process of change by developing a plan, doing something different the next year than we did the previous year, it won’t matter how small those efforts start. Start doing different things with the same set of circumstances—the ones we’ve always had and cannot change—and see what miracles occur. If we start the miracle process and change ourselves, then everything changes. And here’s what is interesting: The difference between failure and success is subtle.

Let me explain by giving you my definitions of failure and success: Failure is a few judgment errors repeated every day. The man says, “Well, I didn’t walk around the block today and it didn’t kill me, so it must be OK.” No, no, it is that kind of error in judgment that after six years has him out of breath and panting as he walks from his car to his office. You can’t make those kinds of mistakes. It will cost you.

Now, here is my definition of success: a few simple disciplines practiced every day. Do you see the distinction? A few disciplines… Here’s a little phrase we’ve all heard, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And my question to you is, “What if that’s true?” How simple and easy is that plan?
The fact is, when you look at successful people, you will almost always discover a plan behind their success. They know what they want, they work out a plan that will get them where they want to go, and they work their plan. It is the foundation for success.

As humans, we have the unique ability to affect change in our lives. It is through our own conscious choice when we engage in the miracle process of personal development that we are able to transform our nature and our lives.

I want this year to be a success for you—a smashing success—and we know that means you need to have a plan, and then methodically work that plan. The combination of materials, your open attitude toward learning and your diligence to follow a plan that is right for you will make this year the kind of success we know you want it to be. So let me challenge you to be no less sincere, no less committed to the advancement of your philosophy, the set of your sail, your plan.

So, what are some good ideas on developing a plan that will work well and take you to the finish line powerfully? Here are the five major points to keep in mind:

1. Develop the right plan for you.

Some people are very detail-oriented and are able to closely follow an intricate plan. Others are less detail-orientated, which is OK, too.

So what plan is the right plan? The plan that fits you. Each of us is unique and motivated by different factors and you’ve got to develop a plan that is right for you and fits you. Some plans will not be as intricate as others, but we all must have a plan, along with goals in that plan, to move us along. If you are a free spirit, don’t tell yourself you are going to spend two hours a day with a book and a journal. It probably won’t happen and you will just get discouraged. Whatever your personality, your strengths and your weaknesses, develop the plan around them. This is not a one-plan-fits-all proposition.

2. Establish times to spend on it.

It might be every Sunday night. It might be 20 minutes each morning or at lunch at before bed. It might be in the car listening to CDs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Whatever it is, set the times and do it. In your step-by-step plan, put down points that you can accomplish every week. They should be specific and achievable. Develop the discipline and take those steps every day, which will move you closer to your goals.

3. Keep a journal.

Take notes. Mr. Shoaff taught me not to trust my memory, but to write it down, to find one place to gather the information that affects change. And that advice has served me well all these years. Record the ideas and inspiration that will carry you from where you are to where you want to be. Take notes on the ideas that impact you most. Put down your thoughts and ideas. Brainstorm with yourself on where you are going and what you want to do. Record your dreams and your ambitions. Your journals are a gathering place for all the valuable information that you will find. If you are serious about becoming wealthy, powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured and unique, if you come across something important, write it down. Two people will listen to or read the same material and different ideas will come to each one. Use the information you gather and record it for further reflection, for future debate and for weighing the value that it is to you.

4. Reflect.

Create time for reflection—a time to go back over, to study again the things you’ve learned and the things you’ve done each day. I call it “running the tapes again” so the day locks firmly in your memory and serves as a tool. As you go through the material in this plan, you will want to spend time reflecting on its significance to you. Take a few minutes at the end of each day and go back over the day: who you talked to, who you saw, what they said, what happened and how you felt. Every day is a piece of the mosaic of your life.

Next, take a few hours at the end of the week to reflect on the week’s activities. Also during that weekly time, take a few minutes to reflect on how this material should be applied to your life and circumstances. Take a half day at the end of the month and a weekend at the end of the year so that you’ve got it, so that it never disappears, to ensure that the past is even more valuable and will serve your future well.

5. Set goals.

Remember that your plan is the roadmap for how you are going to get to your goals, so you have to have them. Of all the things that changed my life for the better (and most quickly), it was learning how to set goals. Mastering this unique process can have a powerful effect on your life, too. I remember shortly after I met Mr. Shoaff, he asked me if I had a list of my goals, and of course I didn’t. He suggested to me that because I lacked a set of clearly defined goals that he could guess my bank balance within a few hundred dollars… and he did! Well, Mr. Shoaff immediately began helping me define my view of the future, my dreams. He taught me to set goals because it is the greatest influence on a person’s future and the greatest force that will pull a person in the direction that they want to go. The future must be planned, well designed to exert a force that pulls you toward the promise of what can be.

6. Act on your plan.

What separates the successful from the unsuccessful so many times is that the successful simply do it. They take action. They aren’t necessarily smarter than others; they just work the plan. The time to act is when the emotion is strong. Here’s what happens if you don’t: The Law of Diminishing Intent. We intend to act when the idea strikes us, when the emotion is high, but if we delay and we don’t translate that into action fairly soon, the intention starts to diminish, diminish and a month from now it’s cold and a year from now it can’t be found. So set up the discipline when the idea is strong, clear and powerful—that’s the time to work the plan. You must capture the emotion and put it into disciplined activities and translate it into equity. And here’s what is interesting: All disciplines affect each other; everything affects everything. That’s why the smallest action is important—because the value and benefits that you receive from that one little action will inspire you to do the next one and the next one…  So step out and take action on your plan, because if the plan is good, then the results can be miraculous.

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RETRAIN YOUR MIND - NEW Motivational Video (very powerful)

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This could have 7 million views by the time you see it. Think it's a must see.

Work for Life

It has been accurately stated that work gives us more than a living - it provides us a life.

Unfortunately, a lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job! When asked how many people worked for him, one employer responded, "About half of them." Unfortunately, there's truth to those two little quips.

This anonymous writer expresses it in an entirely different, very meaningful way:
"Carved in the heavy oaken door of the Roycroft Inn, East Aurora, New York, are these immortal words of the lamented Elbert Hubbard: 'The love you liberate in your work is the love you keep.' To do great work one must fall in love with his task. Cellini, the goldsmith, pouring his whole soul into his creations, achieved masterpieces, and the love he thus liberated brought him praise of kings. You have seen the designer of a piece of machinery pat it with pride, as he might pat the head of a son. It is a part of him. He has built his personality into it. That is why it is such a fine machine.

"Luther Burbank's devotion to an ideal brought him the thrill of new plant creations. Henry Irving, practicing more than 13 years to perfect his acting of Macbeth, a part he loved, found that love coming back to him in the applause of his audience.

"Work that is done in the spirit of love glows with a mystic quality no one can explain. And the worker feels as did Robert Louis Stevenson, who said, 'I know what happiness is, for I have done good work.'"

Work brings lots of benefits that go far beyond the income it provides, so fall in love with your work and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

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Bob Proctor - How To Improve Your Self Image (MUST SEE!)

We can use some help with this, what do you think

Millionaire Mind Intensive 16 - 18 March 2018 LONDON, UK

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Change your money blueprint and your financial life at the 3-day Millionaire Mind Intensive Live Seminar.

Click here to join us 
16 - 18 March, 2018 in LONDON, UK

HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK - Motivational video for 2017

How to Be Happy With the Life You Have Right Now

More, more, more.

More money. A better job title. A bigger house. A nicer wardrobe. We all want more. It’s human nature, really. Even if you aren’t a restless perfectionist who’s constantly trying to push herself to the next level (I’m blushing and putting my face down on my desk over here), most of us usually aren’t willing to completely stagnate. We all have at least some desire to keep moving forward.

But, let’s face it—living our lives with a ceaseless yearning to constantly get our greedy little paws on more (whether that’s money, fame, or success) can be downright draining. And, if you want to feel even the least bit content on a daily basis, you need to learn to go against the grain and be happy with—gasp!—less.

No, I’m not saying that you need to sell your home, keep only one pair of shoes, and live an extreme minimalist life in a 20-foot trailer (although, more power to you if that sounds like your jam!). However, there’s a lot to be said for finding happiness right where you are—rather than being so obsessed with where you’re going.

Easier said than done, right? Believe me, I’m right there with you. But, learning to feel satisfied with what you already have is definitely doable—it just takes a little conscious thought.

1. Stop Falling Into the Comparison Trap

All too often, I find myself chasing after something not because I actually want it, but because I feel like I should have it. Why? Well, because other people have it.

Comparison has become all too easy today. Like everybody else, I’ll blame that on social media. One minute, I’ll feel accomplished and successful in my career—until I log into LinkedIn and see that a colleague was recently published by The New York Times. I have zero complaints about my cute little house—until I see that one of my Facebook friends has just purchased this ridiculously gorgeous home on a giant wooded lot.

See how easy that trap is to fall into? I won’t even bother getting up on my high horse and preaching to you about this one, because I compare myself to others more frequently than I’d even care to admit—it’s natural.

But, it’s important to remember that someone else’s success isn’t your failure. And, beyond that, you don’t have to have (or even want) everything that other person already has within her grasp. You’re different people with different lives. So, do your best to stay focused on your own path, and forget the rest. In the end, what everyone else is doing has little to no impact on your own success and happiness.

2. Think About Your Reasoning

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with seeking improvement—as long as you have legitimate reasons for doing so. Maybe you want a better job because your current one makes you absolutely miserable.

Perhaps you’re chasing after more money, because you find that your family is strapped for cash month after month. Those desires to be better can actually be motivating, and that’s a good thing!
But, if the only reasoning behind your longings are, “I just want it,” you’ve got a little more thinking to do. So, take a magnifying glass to your yearnings to amass more, and determine what exactly is feeding those desires.

If you find that you actually have solid justifications for why you simply can’t feel content and settled with your current circumstances? Well, you’ve lust landed on some awesome inspiration to keep moving forward. However, in contrast, if you discover that you’re only chasing your tail and driving yourself crazy for the sake of bragging rights or keeping up with the Joneses? You know you need to reevaluate and focus your attention on being happy with what you already have.

3. End Each Day Feeling Grateful

“Be happy with what I have?” you’re likely thinking now, “OK, that sounds great, but how exactly do I do that? That’s the hard part!”

You’re right. That is the hard part. And, I’m going to resist the temptation to spout out a bunch of those cliché, “It’s about the journey, not the destination” lines at you. This isn’t a high school commencement speech, after all.

But, do you know why that advice is so popular? Because it’s true. Oftentimes, we can be so laser-focused on what we want, we totally neglect to appreciate what we have. Don’t feel guilty—we all fall victim to this ungrateful attitude.

So, what do I do to try to combat that? Every night, I think of five things from that day that I’m grateful for. Whether it’s my family (my husband and my dog usually end up somewhere close to the top of that list) or a great accomplishment from that workday, I spend some time reflecting on all of the things that made me crack a smile.

It might all sound a little to mushy to you—and I can’t blame you there. But, I promise, it works. This technique pulls your attention off of all of those things that you don’t have and those slipups that didn’t go quite right throughout the day, and instead makes you remember all of the things (both big and small!) that you should appreciate.

Instead of falling asleep obsessing over the career trajectory of my college roommate’s friend, I rest easy thinking about all of the positives in my life. Dozing off while remembering how adorable my dog is? Well, there’s no better way to end the day.


We all want more. And, to some extent, that’s a good thing. But, if you spend every spare moment only thinking about all of the things you don’t have yet, you’re setting yourself up for a life of stress and discontentment.

It’s important to learn to be happy with what you have right now. And, as you now realize, that’s totally possible. Use these tips to feel pleased with where you are at the moment, and you’re sure to feel more satisfied, more fulfilled, and more accomplished on a daily basis. That’s right, you can actually have more with less.


Source

The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU

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Really valuable insights here and over 11M views, what do you think.

Allow things to unfold and you will find your Purpose in Life. | Peggy O...

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What do you think of this.

How to (Realistically) Be Happy For Friends Who Are Doing Better Than You

Your friend just achieved something awesome in his career. Maybe it was a big promotion or a major raise. Perhaps it was a brag-worthy new job altogether. Or, maybe he just launched an awesome side hustle.

Regardless of the specific circumstances, you find yourself left with this weird mix of emotions. You’re glad he’s doing so great, of course. But, you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a piece of you that was insanely jealous.

It makes sense. Careers are competitive. So, feeling enthusiastic when someone else reaches a big accomplishment isn’t exactly second nature.

But, however understandable that envy is, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s productive. Here’s how to get past your own feelings of inadequacy and truly be happy for a friend who’s more successful.

1. Recognize That Their Success Isn’t Your Failure

Here’s a question I like to ask myself when I discover that I’m feeling jealous of another person’s announcement: How does this impact me?

In nearly every case, this question forces me to realize that my feelings of resentment are totally unfounded and unnecessary—that other person’s recent accomplishment has absolutely zero bearing on what I’m doing in my own professional life.

It’s easy to confuse other people’s success with your own failure. But, that’s hardly ever the case. A step forward for your friend doesn’t automatically equate to a few steps backwards for you.

Once you realize that someone else’s triumph isn’t their passive-aggressive attempt at poking holes in your own ego, it’s a whole lot easier to be happy for them.

2. Refresh Your Goals

While career comparison can be a nasty trap, there’s no denying that it can also provide the kick in the pants you need to refocus and continue making forward strides yourself.

For that reason, this is a great time for you to turn a discerning eye to your own career goals and figure out what you’d like to accomplish next.

Whether it’s something as small as revamping your personal website or something as momentous as making an entire career change, sit down and outline some of the things you’d like to achieve in the next six months or so. Don’t stop there—also jot down some specific action items you’ll need to make those things happen.

It might seem odd to use somebody else’s success as a stepping stone for your own career (even if they’re none the wiser!). But, take it from me, it works wonders. We might all hate to admit it, but we’re constantly matching ourselves up against the people around us—so, there’s really no better motivation.

Plus, knowing that you have your own plans and objectives in the works makes it that much less painful to celebrate your friend’s recent accomplishment.

3. Learn From Them

When we’re all so focused on competition, it becomes all too easy to forget the value of collaboration. But, if you neglect to take notes from the successes of your peers, you’re missing a great opportunity. Instead of resenting that person’s success, why don’t you learn from it?

Maybe that friend of yours just landed a new gig at an up-and-coming tech startup. Rather than feeling bitter about the fact that you’d like to do the same thing, why not ask her about the application process and what she did to stand out?

Or, rather than simply envying the person who scored a big raise, have a conversation with him about how that played out. Did he approach his boss? What sort of justification did he have in his back pocket to support his request?

Experience is a great teacher—and, that sentiment applies to the experiences of other people as well. So, don’t miss the chance to extract your own value and lessons from their achievements.

Not only will it push you forward, it’ll also give your friend a chance to further celebrate and discuss her own big milestone.


While we all like to think of ourselves as the eternally supportive and encouraging friends who cue up the marching band whenever our loved ones accomplish great things, that’s often not the case. As you already know all too well, your congratulatory feelings can easily be overshadowed by jealousy and resentment.

Ultimately, though, that gets you nowhere. Use these three tips to adequately honor and applaud other people’s big wins and you’ll not only be a better friend—but a better professional.

Source

10 Powerful Mantras for Those That Have Lost Motivation

In everyone’s life, there comes a point when nothing works out. That’s when giving up seems easy and essentially becomes the only left option. At that phase in life, what one needs the most is a good piece of advice. People need motivation to gear up their enthusiasm in order to succeed.

Here are some good old mantras for when you have lost motivation:

1. Body

Today, living in the world where everyone is running for their dreams and competition drives us all crazy is sometimes frustrating and de-motivating. Whether one have tacked the motivational posters to the office cubicle, or one might love channeling Lady Gaga’s secret to happiness but some days one just need a laconic motivational mantras to turn frown upside down. Here are few most-inspiring and life mantras.

2. Choose your Friends wisely

The people with whom one spends the maximum time will have biggest influence on our lives. Hence we must choose our company wisely. Hanging out with the ones who are gossiping and complaining about their circumstances will do nothing good, but spending time with people who push each other to improve and achieve their goals are likely to improve their attitude towards life and will surely motivate.

3. Let go of things

Life is a balance of pleasant and unpleasant things. One should know how to move on from things which no longer matter in their life or are not worth wasting time. Continuous efforts to get things which are impossible will only bring de-motivaton and sadness in life.

4. Add life to days, not days to life

For a second we must pause our busy lives and ask ourselves “Are we really living our lives?” because we are not. We have just become a part of rat race where we all are striving hard to earn our meals and live a lavish live leaving behind the life which we all should cherish. One of most important successful mantra which successful leaders adopt is giving a break to their life and do things that will make life worth living tomorrow.

5. Embrace the process, step by step

Nothing is achieved in a day; it takes years to fulfill a wish. If one wants to work on a specific salary, or visit a specific number of countries, he or she must know that it takes time to achieve the goals.  Goals are essential to give direction to the life but what is more important is that goals are the steps which must be followed on a regular basis to turn the dreams into reality.

6. Appreciate yourself

One must always remember that the only person who can stop one from achieving his or dreams is the person himself. No matter how many excuses we make but no one can run from this reality.  Always try to stay positive and appreciate what you get. Whenever, you feel like the world is against you, remember it is always you versus you in reality.

7. Be a warrior, not a worrier

Mantras and hymns are always legendary and great, hence can’t be forgotten that easily. We can easy feel connected to Spartans and Vikings because they were the creators of history. They were the warriors who taught us to the relevance of rusty armour. They were not hindered by their fears. Hence , instead of panicking , one must learn to fight.

8. Be ready to face the challenges

If one has taken the responsibility for something, he must be ready to face the challenges.  Always opt for the door knowing the fact that obstacles are waiting for you on the other side. Challenges are the part of the process and struggles can strengthen you a level up.

9. Find a way, or make one

One should not get de-motivated by the problems in life rather his main goal must be to focus on solutions instead of the problems. It is easy to stuck and complain when time hit hard on you, but one should move on and take action to move forward.

10. Read success stories of successful entrepreneurs

The success stories of great entrepreneurs will not only motivate you but their stories can also provide you with the solutions of various problems and can train you to face the upcoming problems. For instance, people who are struggling to set their business out of their country can get inspiration from the achievements of Atul Gupta, an Indian-Born South African businessman who started his business with Sahara Computers but today his business has taken over almost all the big industries of the country and is still stretching its arms to other parts of the country.

When you feel that nothing is going the right way, sit back, relax and repeat these mantras to get yourself back on the track. These mantras will help in resetting the brain when it becomes impossible to keep moving through the struggle.

Source

The art of doing twice as much in half the time | Jeff Sutherland | TEDxAix

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This is something I think about as I start my day, what about you?

Law Of Attraction Accelerator - Let Your Desires Flow To You | Sublimin...

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Almost 4 million views. Thought I would share

You Can Have More—If You Become More

Here’s the great challenge of life: You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are.


I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are. Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it equally among everyone, it would soon be back in the same pockets.

However, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads: Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got. The major thing that makes the difference is what you do—it is the human effort that counts.

In order to have more, you need to become more. The guy says, “If I had a good job I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off.” If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there. Some people say, “If I had a lot of money, I would be really generous, but I don’t have much, so I’m not generous.” See, you’ve got to change that philosophy or you will never have “the lots of money.”

Unless you change, it won’t change. Amazingly, however, when we throw out our blame list and start becoming more ourselves, the difference is everything else will begin to change around us.

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One morning in college, the guest speaker in my Psychology of Spirituality class was a monk. He introduced us to meditation and had us try it for 10 minutes. I quickly deemed the task impossible and only lasted 30 seconds.

For as long as I can remember, the concept of meditation made my eyes roll. I don’t have time for that. That’s boring. That’s not helpful at all because it’s just preventing me from all the things I actually need to do. I didn’t believe it could work for a person like me. Someone who’s always on the go, always talking, often (unsuccessfully) multitasking, never still.

But a few weeks ago, I decided to take on the challenge of meditating at my desk every day for one week. Because often, I feel like a top that’ll never stop spinning. And there’s so much research out there that says this could be the habit that grants me the calmness I crave. So, I thought that if I could pull this off, it could be life-changing.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t. At least not yet. But it did teach me two great lessons that I have embraced—which is a solid amount of lessons in just five days.

1. The Best Ideas Happen When You Least Expect It

For the challenge, I used Headspace, an app that walks you through short meditations. And FYI—The sessions I used were free! (But if you’re interested in doing it in a less tech way, this two-minute exercise is a good place to start.)

Each session, the Headspace guide leads you through a body scan and some breathing exercises. For most of it, you’re told to bring your focus back to your breaths when your thoughts start to get away from you. But for the last minute or so, you’re encouraged to set your mind free.
And I’m telling you—these final 60-second periods were pure gold.

Once my mind was let off the leash, it would wander to the issues I most wanted (and needed) to solve. Before I knew it—and without prodding—a solution would appear. Or, I’d at least be pushed in the right direction.

No, I didn’t solve world hunger, nor did I magically discover why the Starbucks lids always drip all over my hands. But it did help me figure out the perfect intro to an article, as well as how I wanted to tackle the project planning for all my summer projects

Often, the answers we seek are already in our heads, but we pile too much other crap on top of them to be able to see them. When I wasn’t distracted by my surroundings, when I wasn’t frantically attempting to make my ever growing to-do list smaller, my view of those solutions I so desperately sought was a whole lot clearer.

2. Start Your Day With a Clear and Focused Mind

Usually, I get to my office and dive straight into work. Time is precious, and, because I believe efficiency’s fundamental to my work-life balance, I want to check things off my list ASAP.
And while I’ve become better at not wasting the first hour in my inbox, I’m still whooshing into the office like a mini (but friendly) tornado, tackling projects with no sense of direction or purpose.

Dedicating 10 minutes to meditate helped me realize how important it is to take a beat and get myself together before charging full steam ahead. Rather than transitioning right from my commute to my responsibilities, I slowed down, closed my eyes, and turned my focus inward.

Simply the act of setting that time aside prompted me to think, “I’m doing this to settle my mind, and I want to keep building on this calming, slowing feeling.” This reminder motivated me to approach the rest of the day with care and intention.



Confession: I didn’t make this into a habit. Part of this is due to two hectic weeks of work travel and vacation. But most of it is also because habits are really hard to form, and one week isn’t long enough.

But one week was long enough to introduce me to some of its benefits. And, because I’m wondering how doing this regularly could positively impact me, I think I’ll challenge myself to do it for two more weeks. Then three, then four.

And hey, if you want to join me, know that it’s OK if your practice isn’t impeccable. Once, I completely forgot to do it until it was already 3 PM, and another time I heard my co-worker arrive, so I stopped at minute eight. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s just about feeling better.

Oh, and one more thing. I’m extremely fortunate that I have my own office. I was able to shut my door and meditate with little risk of interruption. So, for those of you who work in open spaces, yes—I acknowledge it could be weird to sit at your desk with your eyes closed.

If you don’t feel comfortable explaining to them what you’re doing, then try arriving to the office a little earlier when not many people are there yet. Or, pop into an unoccupied meeting room. Just because it’s trickier doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, you know?

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YOU ARE A GENIUS - The Motivational Video that Will Literally Change You...

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Matthew McConaughey's Life Advice Will Change Your Future (MUST WATCH) M...

Keeping on track 2018 goals

How To Create Your Ideal Life – One Step at a Time

What do you see yourself doing 5, 10 or 20 years from now? What would your ideal life look life? Perhaps you’d like to live on a tropical island and write novels or travel the world while managing your profitable websites.

The good news is that you can achieve your deepest dreams, desires and ambitions by taking small steps on a regular basis. Here’s how you can create your ideal life, slowly but surely.

 

Create Your Ideal Life – One Step at a Time

 

Decide What You Want to Achieve

Write down all the things you’d like to achieve in as many different areas of your life as possible.

Think about such areas as:

• Your work: Ask yourself if you’re happy in your current career or if you’ve always dreamed of doing something else, such as starting your own business or earning a living from painting, writing or another creative skill.
• Your family: Would you like to improve one or more relationships in your immediate or extended family? If you’re single, would you be happy remaining single or is your long-term aim to be married with children?
• Your home life: Would you like to move from your current home or would you like to improve or extend it? If you could choose anywhere at all, where in the world would you love to live?
• Your community: Do you have an idea for a project that would benefit a person or a group in your local area?
• Travel: Have you always wanted to visit a particular country or area of the world? Would you like to go on a round-the-world trip? Would you like to explore the world, working as you travel?

Write down everything that comes to mind. Focus on your deep-seated dreams, desires and ambitions, no matter how crazy or impossible they seem. Admit that these things are what you really want from life.

You don’t have to show anyone else what you’ve written down, so don’t be afraid of how others would react if they knew what your ultimate ambitions were.
 

Visualize Your Ideal Life

The next step is to visualize what your life would be like once you’ve achieved your long-term goals. As well as visualizing your fulfilled dreams in your mind, it’s also important to visualize them on paper.

Find pictures that depict your goals, cut them out and make a collage. You could also paste images into a scrapbook or make a digital scrapbook. Write about your goals alongside the pictures. Include inspiring quotes and anything else that will encourage you to move forward.

Making a collage or scrapbook may seem like a useless activity but it’s actually a very important one because it allows your long-term goals to become more concrete. A concrete goal will appear to be more attainable than just a wish that you would like to come true if you had a magic wand.
The reality is that magic wands don’t exist and you’re the only person who can make your dreams come true. Before you can do this, you need to believe that your dreams are achievable in reality.

Once your long-term goals become real in your mind’s eye and on paper, you’ll be encouraged to take steps to achieve them. By the time you’ve finished your collage or scrapbook, the next steps on your journey should have occurred to you.

Start with Small Tasks

It’s now time to write down some small tasks that you could begin doing today that will lead you in the direction of one of your long-term goals. For example, if you’d like to change your career or set up a business, begin gathering information on your new career or on starting a business.

Store all the information you’ve collected in a dedicated folder on your laptop and/or in a paper file. You could also ask other people for advice, either in person or online.

Move Forward Step by Step

After you’ve accomplished the first few tasks, the next steps will become apparent. So, if you want to set up a business, you might decide that one of your next steps is to register a company or a domain name.

It’s important to realize that you won’t know the exact path to your long-term goals at the outset, but don’t let this deter you. Remember the words of the Chinese philosopher, Lao-tzu, who said that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and keep taking single steps that will move you in the direction of your ultimate goals.

Reward Yourself

Each time you reach a significant milestone on your journey toward achieving your long-term ambitions, treat yourself to a little reward. It could be a day out, a book you want to read or anything else that will make you feel good.

It’s important to be kind to yourself and enjoy the journey as much as you’ll enjoy your life when you finally reach your destination.

Don’t Let Setbacks Discourage You

Try not to be discouraged by setbacks along the way. Everyone experiences setbacks on their journey.
If you find out that a particular path isn’t possible, look for an alternative path. If it seems like you’ve hit a dead end, discuss the way forward with someone you trust and respect and you may realize that it was not a dead end after all.

Often, the next step occurs to you when you relax, let go and stop trying so hard. So, take a break, watch a movie or chat with friends and see if an idea drops into your consciousness. If not, try not to get stressed about it but believe that you will know how to move forward when the time is right.

Never Give Up

No matter what happens, never give up on your long-term goals. Look at your collages or scrapbooks frequently to remind yourself of what you want and what you’re aiming for. Remember the words of the inspirational author, Napoleon Hill: “A quitter never wins and a winner never quits.”

There is no time limit. Achieving your goals may take much longer than you think but that shouldn’t stop you from working toward them by taking small steps on a regular, consistent basis.

The path may not be straight. You might find that you take several different detours before moving back onto the road to success.

Don’t be demoralized by this. Keep taking action, no matter what happens. Even if you’re not sure what to do, just doing something positive will help because, in the words of Naeem Callaway founder of Get Out the Box, Inc., “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step.”

Visualize yourself having achieved your ambition already, even if it seems impossible. Try to banish negative thoughts from your mind and replace them with positive affirmations, such as: “I will become a full-time writer,” or “I will visit Antarctica.”

Conclusion

 

If you don’t know what your long-term goals are, you definitely won’t achieve them. It’s important, therefore, to define and shape your long-term goals in writing. The next step is to visualize them both in your mind and on paper.

Once you’ve laid these foundations, you’ll be able to set yourself many series of short-term goals that will help you move toward your long-term goals.

Expect challenges along the way but don’t to be discouraged by them. Focus on how good you’ll feel when you ultimately achieve your deepest dreams and ambitions.


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Servant Leadership: Definition and Applications

A wise leader is a leader who serves. The term “servant leadership” was coined in a paper titled The Servant as Leader by Robert K. Greenleaf, the founder of the Greenleaf Institute for Servant Leadership. It refers to a concept of leadership where the leader is a servant first. The philosophy is based on an idea that when leaders serve, both the leaders and the followers collectively enrich the lives of individuals. They build better organizations and create a more positive world.

The concept of servant leadership centers on the idea that people have a natural tendency to serve and want to serve.

Thus, leading starts with serving first. Due to its utopian philosophy, servant leadership received numerous criticisms. Among which are the reasons why it’s not (yet) prevalent among leaders and the public. In this article, we will discuss how servant leadership is applied in business and organizations, We will discuss the facts and misconceptions, the criticisms surrounding both the philosophy and the application, and moving forward with servant leadership as a part of human nature.

The Philosophy

The simplest way to explain “servant leadership” is that servant leaders focus on identifying and meeting the needs of others rather than attempting to acquire as much power, wealth, and fame for themselves, according to the CEO of the Greenleaf Center Kent Keith. More importantly, such leadership goes beyond serving internal stakeholders, such as employees and contractors. A good servant leader also cares about the external stakeholders, including the customers, the community, and the whole society. It’s a positive influence through and through.

It’s the direct opposite of tyrannical leadership. A tyrant leader is served and continues maintaining the status quo to ensure its longevity. Such a leader  has a “short fuse.” Things that don’t go according to a plan are punished and criticized negatively. In politics, it’s the most dangerous type of leadership, as it leads unnecessary wars and on-going conflicts.

The origins

The origin of “servant leadership” itself was the brain child of Robert Greenleaf, whose past position at the AT&T allowed him to observe two types of leadership. In the first type, the leaders serve themselves. In the second, the leaders serve others. Between the two, the latter was more effective. The first type is much more common worldwide, especially in profit-making corporations and organizations.

The first model of leadership places emphasis on how the leader can acquire more power, wealth, and fame for themselves. Every activity is intended to increase the three elements, as the “self” is at the center. By contrast, the second model of leadership puts the people at the center and serving is the primary activity. The position of the leader, thus, isn’t at the center, but all around.

In servant leadership, hierarchies aren’t important. The only exception is for ensuring that technical and administrative tasks are performed satisfactorily. Upending hierarchies allows feedback and information to flow fluidly and dialogues can occur more seamlessly. This would increase employee morale and sense of ownership. When employees feel that they’re respected and valued, they will likely work more productively and create higher-quality outputs.

Every person is believed to have leadership within. Thus the leader’s ultimate task is to awaken this trait and its supporting qualities. When everyone grows, the organization and the society will grow favorably as well. Think of seeds; when they’re watered and fed soil nutrients, they would grow beautifully. Servant leadership provides “nutritional values” to the soul.

Applications in Organization

Applying servant leadership doesn’t require any blueprint or manual. It’s a practical philosophy that’s more intuitive than technical. You simply need to be reminded in every activity that what you do affect all stakeholders and your primary job is ensuring that everyone grows optimally.

It’s like being a coach who cares about the coachee’s progress. The only difference between a professional coach and a servant leader is that the former usually coaches in specific sessions, while the latter must also be aware of their influence in the corporate culture and all stakeholders. A servant leader, thus, is a lifestyle 24/7/365, not just a job or an honorary designation.

Servant leadership isn’t limited to certain uses or applications. It can be applied in any organization both for-profit or non-profit in public and private sectors across various industries. It can even be applied in online, remote, and distributed work arrangements. The key is for the leader to have a big heart in accepting feedback and being a facilitator instead of a sage on the stage.

Hierarchy

In the hierarchical type of leadership, communication generally flows vertically, and it takes extra effort for feedback from the bottom to reach the C-level due to the middle management serving as “gatekeepers.” The term isn’t used negatively, as it’s just the way it works in most hierarchical leaderships. This being said, servant leaders do the opposite: they encourage flow of information to and from all directions.

As a facilitator, a servant leader welcomes feedback and complaints, which only serve to make the organization better and people grow. People would understand that it’s never about the servant leader, so the environment occurs more naturally. The stakeholders’ success is the leader’s success. Moreover, there are no hard feelings when something unpleasant occurs. After all, everyone’s status is equal. Thus, in an organization with servant leadership, office politics is likely to happen to a lesser degree. This alone is a reason worth applying this style of leadership.

Facts and misconceptions

The typical notion of “a leader” is someone who is self-centered and whose words must be followed to avoid “punishments” is, actually, already obsolete. The human evolution has brought forth servant leadership style to steadily dissipate out-of-date leadership styles that can hinder the evolution progress. However, of course, like other new concepts, it has also been misunderstood.

Several misconceptions about servant leadership:

1. It only works in certain types of organization, like non-profits and educational institutions.
2. It takes a long time for a leader to adopt this style, as it’s uncommon.
3. It’s against the “nature” of leadership, which is to lead with power and control.
4. Not many leaders have such benevolent traits.
5. It must be fostered in the right place with the right existing culture.

 The arguments for servant leadership focus on the belief that every individual is born positive, benevolent, humble, open-minded, open-hearted, and has a high degree of self-control. It may sound utopian, but human beings are hardwired with compassion and benevolence. Neuroscientists James Rilling and Gregory Berns from Emory University found that in a research,  participants were given a chance to help someone else while their brain activity was recorded. It later proved that helping others triggered activity in certain parts of the brain that turn on when people receive rewards or experience pleasure. This was a remarkable finding that human beings get satisfaction from helping others.

Emma M. Seppala, PhD wrote an article for Psychology Today, where she cited scientists at the Max Planck Institute Michael Tomasello whose research concluded that human beings have compassion trait as a part of the evolution. He posited that humans need to be compassionate to one another to survive, hence “the survival of the kindest.” Thus, servant leadership is actually following nature’s instinct, not against it.

Criticisms Surrounding the Philosophy and Applications

One of the most popular criticisms surrounding servant leadership is that there is no such thing and it’s a contradictio in terminis or an oxymoron, which means a contradictory term. “Servant” is the opposite of “leader,” thus a “servant leader” is simply impossible, according to some critics. The correct term should have been “serving leader,” which is a leader who serves or someone who leads by serving.

Richard Greenleaf argued that this term isn’t an oxymoron, Thus “serving leadership” is different from “servant leadership.” In servant leadership, the leader’s need to lead with power and control simply doesn’t exist. In serving leadership, however, the leader maintains the traditional “power and control” concept and uses serving as a tool to reach such goal.

Many types of leadership have incorporated servant leadership characteristics, but retain the hierarchical structure. In transformational leadership, for instance, the leader focuses on the best ways to transform an organization from its obsolete state to a more progressive state. And among the tools used are inviting feedback, listening attentively to all stakeholders, and increasing employee morale with positive rewards, encouragements, and exciting learning opportunities.

Moving Forward with Servant Leadership

It takes courage just to live and breathe every single day. It takes more courage to lead and make every single day meaningful. A servant leader thinks and breathes positivity, compassion, benevolence, and open-mindedness. When there are negative criticisms around, they remind people around them that it’s human nature to maintain compassion and benevolence around us, including in businesses and organizations.

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Your February Action Plan: 10 Ways to Exercise Self-Worth

 

Caring for yourself translates to caring for others, which translates to powerful inspiration. 

 

Your Action Plan is a monthly to-do list of tips straight from SUCCESS magazine—10 things you can do right now to improve yourself and your life.

 

Did you know that caring for yourself makes you more attentive to others, creating upward spirals of performance and happiness all around you? So this month, focus on that: respect.

1. Introduce acquaintances.

Think of two people who are in your personal circle. Do they know each other? If not, connect them.

2. Schedule a follow-up.

Instead of micromanaging, schedule a follow-up meeting with your employees so they can update you on their progress without being caught off-guard.

3. Identify joy.

Determine something that brings you happiness. Committing to that joy can bring healthiness and productivity.

4. Dress yourself.

To thine own self be true: Authenticity is your greatest asset. Look at your wardrobe and plan looks that will make you comfortable and confident. Don’t dress like someone else!

5. Make tomorrow’s list.

Procrastination starts the day before you even realize you’ve been procrastinating. Write down tomorrow’s goals tonight if you really want to stick to them.

6. Study personalities.

Think about an interesting personality trait of someone you work with. Avoid a one-size-fits-all method of communication by actually getting to know the people around you.

7. Think back on change.

You’ll need to adapt to change. Luckily, you’ve already done it before. Take a moment to celebrate changes that you successfully adapted to. That’ll help you weather the next storm.

8. Create a calm place.

Organize your office or desk. It’s yours, after all. Clean is important, but don’t forget to tailor it to whatever relaxes you.

9. Copycat.

The world is full of inspiring achievers. Identify the people who motivate you, and consider their strengths. Do they have habits you can emulate?

10. Moment to meditate.

Say a prayer. Or take a moment of silent meditation for yourself. Whatever your beliefs might be, stop, listen and seek some sort of connection.

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