Quote - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Are Your Friends There When You Need Them?

This summer I did a lot of soul-searching. I realized I've outgrown some of the people in my close circle of friends. What I mean is their idea of friendship is not the same as mine. I've always known that, and it never bothered me before. But this year it does.

I'm not saying my idea of friendship is the only way or the right way. I'm just saying it's what works best for me. Basically, I like to be treated in the same loving way I treat others. I think we're all like that. The way we treat our friends is the way we like to be treated by our friends. It makes sense.

The older I get the more I realize how important it is that my close friends are my own kind: sweet, affectionate Betas like me. No more Alpha Drama Queens. No more friends that complain, whine, and crank about everything. There was a time when that didn't bother me. I'm so easy-going whatever rocked their boat was cool with me. I just ignored it. But now I can't.

Here's what I mean. If you're one of my close friends you know how I am. I don't say, "I'm here if you need me," and leave it at that. Hey, we're all busy. But true friendship takes more than that, I think. I check up on my friends if I haven't heard from them lately. I tell them how much I love and value them every few weeks. If I see you're having a problem I don't make you come to me and ask for help. I'm there asking how I can help. To me that's true friendship. It's the way I treat my friends, and it's the way I like to be treated.

Think about it. Look at your close circle of friends. Do they nourish you in the way you need when you need them? Do their personalities jibe or clash with yours? Is the stress of that clash worth it? Do they come to you with every problem they have, but can't seem to be there when you need them?

Don't wait until you're in a crisis and need strong friend support. You might not have it. Ask yourself these questions now. I've been too slack on this issue, and I take full responsibility for it. Have you been slack as well? If so, you might need to do some friend eliminating like me.

And that’s what I did this summer. I eliminated all the friends who couldn’t walk their "friend" talk when I needed them. Afterwards I wondered why I waited so long. My life is much calmer now. I had no idea how much drama these relationships had brought into my life. Whew!

You can do this, too. Start by making a list of all your friends (I used the notepad app on my iPhone). Next, take a realistic look at each one. Keep the friends you can count on and delete those you can’t.

Life changes constantly, and so do we. That means this isn’t a permanent list. It’s one you’ll need to tweak periodically. In fact, I dropped another long-time friend last week. I never noticed how negative she was until I began eliminating stressful friends. Wow. Off the list she went!

I began this list five months ago, and I can’t tell you how much peace it’s brought into my life. The change in energy is amazing. Best of all, when things get crazy and I need strong friend support, I’ve got it. Yay!

Take a serious look at your friends and create a list like this today. I bet you’ll wonder why you waited so long, too. Oh, well. Better late than never, right?

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Power of Monthly Goals (How to Schedule Your Year)

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Let's start a new habit for June.

What to do About Stress?

Everyone will experience stress in different aspects of their lives; it may be at work, with their family, in their love life or with their health. However, whatever might be the cause of your stressful day, it creates the same effect on your body, mood, and even on other people.

Life is full of hassles, frustrations, demands, and if people don’t meet expectations or deadlines, the tendency is that our mind will be exposed to chaotic thinking and tiredness. This is how stress come out that can generally invade and ruin the enjoyment of your life.

For many people, stress is a normal part of life that usually appears in everyday situations. Stress isn’t always bad; however, dealing with stress is usually not good. Mild stress can help you deal with pressure and motivate you to do your best and finish your work before the deadline.

Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened, upset, and anxious. It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about stress. However, difficulties in dealing with this emotion may result in risk and danger to your health, physically and mentally.

Anyone experiencing stressful situation may be at risk of losing control of their emotions, which sometimes could ruin your ability to make decisions rationally. How to know if the anxiety is too much in dealing with your stress? How important is it to gain a deeper understanding about stress and what are the necessary things to do when dealing with such emotion?

Feelings such as worry and anxiety are just some of the common results of stress. Being stressed is sometimes healthy in order for a person to be alert and act. However, there are certain points in human life, where people cannot manage dealing with their stress.

Stress management effectively starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. At first, it may not be easy as you may tend to overlook your own stressful feelings and behaviour. However, providing a solution to a problem always starts with identifying the problem or cause.

The best remedy for stress is self-examination and taking significant actions that can definitely help you lessen your worries and fears. Examples include taking a break for a few minutes to practice some deep-breathing exercises, relaxation, and entertaining yourself like going to the spa or going shopping. These are just a few examples that can usually help people ease their stressful day. In addition, if you cannot remove the stress, remove yourself. If you are not getting along with your company, it is important to slip away and find a new sanctuary to work in.

There are several negative effects of stress on your health such as an upset stomach, recurring colds, headaches and insomnia. If you are having difficulty dealing with stress, it would also be best to seek professional help from a doctor or therapist.

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Okay, so you messed up. Now what?

Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up.

For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating.

I know. Because I used to be ashamed of things I did or said. All the time.

And I’m not talking about calmly realizing one’s wrongdoing and immediately learning from it. I’m talking an involuntary panic-anxiety-attack-like-muscle-spasms-complete-with-grinding-teeth-and-making-noises sorta sensation.

With an inner voice going like: "Screw you! You messed up, and you're useless! You're unable to do anything right, and you should be locked away! You messed up, and that's all you're ever gonna do!"

Every day, several times.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. It could be a misused word, a social faux pas… anything.

When non-fident people react drastically to making any kind of mistake, it’s because non-fidence is often accompanied by low self-esteem, perfectionism, and insecurity.

When we have low self-esteem, we tend to judge ourselves more vigorously than we would our peers. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re hard on ourselves. Simple as that.

But moreover, if we don’t allow for ourselves to make mistakes, we develop perfectionism. Which, in turn, makes it seem so much worse to us when we do make a mistake. — Or even do something in a manner less than "perfect". (Which, as I’ve written about before, is a BS notion.)

And then there’s the insecurity, which doesn’t allow for much space for mistakes, nor for even trying. This is governed by the amygdala — the reptilian part of our brain — most commonly known for our "fight or flight" mechanism.

See, amongst our primitive ancestors, social identity was way more important than today. Dangers were all around. If you messed up something, it could get you expelled from your tribe and thrown out into the wilderness on your own.

All of this perfectly illustrates the dangerous downward spiral of non-fidence. If we have low regard for ourselves we make less space for ourselves to make mistakes. This, in turn, causes making mistakes to be even more likely, which, then, will only lead to much more self-loathing and shame.

Because we DO make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. We know this perfectly well, yet tend to act like we’re the only flawed person alive.

But here’s the kicker:
Confident people make WAY many more mistakes than less confident people.

The more confident you are, the less regard you give to other people’s opinion about you. The higher you think of yourself, the less you worry about making mistakes. You know perfectly well that your rights outnumber your wrongs. You know perfectly well that you’re able to learn from your mistakes.

Indeed, if you don’t make mistakes, you can never learn. And if you don’t learn, you don’t grow.

In other words:
For every time you messed up something in life, you had the opportunity to learn, grow, and prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.

So get out there and mess up. Badly. Learn, improve, repeat. And as you learn and grow, watch as your confidence grows with you.

ACTION ITEM:

The next time you're embarrassed about something, use the following method:

- Stop what you're doing.
- Breathe. Ten long, deep breaths.
- Think. Realize that whatever negative response on your part are merely thoughts, and that they're not necessarily true, constructive or favourable.
- Choose how you want to feel about what happened. Do you genuinely want to be ashamed? Or would you rather accept, learn, and grow?

The choice is yours.

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Ten Surefire Ways to get frustrated about visualization or fail at it

Visualization can be very powerful when working on your goals. You may have already created a so called Vision Board, or Dream Board with fantastic goals and dreams on it, where you cut and paste images on a board and focus on it for inspiration. You are excited about it, however it's been a while since you put it together and none of your goals have actually made it into your reality yet. You may be feeling like you are doing everything right, but just can't seem to get ahead. You wonder "is this whole visualization thing not working after all? Are all those top motivational speakers, magazines and books wrong when they say visualization is a very important- if not crucial- element when it comes to goal achievement and creating the life of my dreams? It all makes sense though what they explain about visualization and how it can help you attract what you desire, by Law of Attraction. Why don't I seem to get it right?"

So WHY is your visualization not working for you?

Well, first of all, let me reassure that the concept of visualization is as valid as could be and one of the most powerful ways to stay inspired and achieve your goals. There is more to it then you first may have thought though, so let me explain the most important reasons why your visualization may not be effective and how to turn this around so your Vision Board will indeed coming to fruition in incredible ways you never thought possible.

1. You don't have clarity on your vision and goals

If you are not clear on your goals, your vision will stay too general and will therefore not inspire you. Whenever life gets touch, you won't be motivated enough to stay in action as your "why" is not clear enough. You will also be much more easily influenced by others around you who think they know what is good for you and tell you what to do. So when visualizing your goals, it is important to be crystal clear on your Vision. The more clear and detailed you are the more effective and inspired you can visualize. So just relax, sit down and really brainstorm about what is important to you. The achievement of which items or events would truly make a difference in your life. Losing weight? Changing your career and become a writer? What would make you fulfilled and happy? Take some time to think about this. You know, most people take more time to plan their holidays than to plan their life! It is worth spending some time on though, right? When you are clear on the things you wish to achieve in the future, write them down and also note why these goals are important to you; how would you feel when you achieve them? If needed, get some professional guidance to support you in this process.

2. You are visualizing everyone else's dream but yours

Sadly, we often tend to focus on dreams that are created for us by someone around us. This could be your parents, partner, friends or children. The challenge is that you visualize the things you think you SHOULD be visualizing instead of what you really want in your heart of hearts. Visualizing these kinds of goals won't work very well, as you don't have the emotions of true desire attached to them. Besides that, it is not going to fulfill you anyway when you do achieve them, it will only fulfill others around you. So make sure you only visualize YOUR true desires. The ones that make your heart sing just thinking about them!

3. Your self-limiting beliefs hold you back

Another important aspect in the process of manifesting your dream life is your beliefs. If you spend valuable time visualizing your goals but at the same time your true inner feelings are negative and of disbelief, then "it ain't going to happen". You know, we tend to build up a lot of limiting beliefs in our lifetime that keep us from actually creating the life of our dreams. Have a quick look at that and be really honest with yourself. What are the feelings or thoughts YOU have that keep you from reaching your full potential? What beliefs do you currently have that hold you back from taking the actions necessary to make your goals a reality? You might, for instance, feel like you don't deserve them, or are not good or smart enough to make them happen. It is very important for you to address these self-limiting beliefs and replace them with positive empowering affirmations. Affirmations help you to reprogram your subconscious mind by telling it how you would like things to be. Make sure to include these affirmations on your Vision Board! (One of my other articles explains how to formulate affirmations in a powerful, successful way)

4. You just don't know HOW to create an effective VB

Our experience as the leading provider of Visualization and goal setting systems is that many people just don't know where to start. Especially when you have never heard of Vision Boards, or even the concept of visualization, it can be hard to get your head around this; we recommend getting some professional guidance if that is the case. You see, when creating your Vision Board, there are a few important key elements you need to take into account and some crucial processes to follow for it to be effective and successful. Before you actually start putting your Vision Board together, you need to work on your vision, goals in different areas, limiting beliefs, affirmations etc. Then once you start assembling, it is for instance important where possible to use images that have you in it. This reinforces the idea and feeling of you already having achieved that goal, it is precisely this feeling that will attract it into your reality. I would recommend to educate yourself about this so you increase your chances of success.

5. You are thinking OF your goals, not FROM your goals

When you think OF your goals, it creates a certain distance between you and your goals. Your emotions around your goals won't be as strong and subsequently your visualization will be less effective. So rather than thinking of your future home when you visualize, (and how nice it will be to have it in the future), think from it. Imagine yourself already living in that dream house, so as if you have already attracted it. Imagine walking through that house, what do you see? What do you smell? What does the kitchen look like, how about your living room? This "acting as if" is crucial in the whole process of goal setting. By feeling as if you have already achieved it, you are basically placing an order with the universe. What you see in your imagination, is what you will eventually see for real with your eyes! This method is called "vivid visualization" and is extremely powerful. By practicing it, you will find that your self-image begins to conform to these new images in your mind. You are literally growing into the new successful person you intent to become! This will help to attract the goals you have set for yourself. By using moving images on a dynamic kind of Vision Board, for instance one on your computer, you can facilitate this vivid visualization in a very powerful way.

6. There is no consistency in your visualization regime.

Creating your Vision Board is the first step to take. Once finished, you need to keep focusing on your Vision Board with intention and eager anticipation as often as possible. If you passionately visualize your goals on some days, and totally forget about it on other days you water down the effect. Your Vision Board will make sure you keep an inspired, positive mindset as much as possible. The more consistent and frequent your visualization practice is, the stronger and faster the result. So I recommend to create a structure to make sure you focus on your goals and dreams at least twice a day with intent. You could create a reminder in outlook or make it a habit of focusing on your goals as soon as you wake up and go to bed. The challenge many people report to us though, is that they don't have the time or just forget to look at their Vision Board. If that is the case for you too, then we recommend having an automatic Vision Board system in place on your computer that pops up pro actively, to help you keep focused and reminded of your goals as much as possible.

7. You don't have enough exposure to your Vision Board

As mentioned before, the more you put your energy and focus on the display of all your amazing goals on your Vision Board, the quicker and easier you will make those goals a reality in your life. So it is valuable to have a look at ways to increase the exposure to your Vision Board. You could, for instance, hang your Vision Board on your office wall, in the kitchen or any other place you are often. The challenge when creating a "traditional" cardboard Vision Board, is that you only have one board to display when finished. As a suggestion, you could take photos of your Vision Board and hang these around your home, or create mini cardboard Vision Boards. An excellent alternative is to use computerized Vision Board systems that will allow you to create multiple Vision Boards and expose them in many different ways.

8. Your plan of action is not clear enough.

How often have you made a decision to set a goal to really lose that weight this time, go to the gym a couple of times a week, start that business or take some more time off for yourself? You know how it goes: in one of those "aha" moments you realize you are "not going to keep going like this" and "really will take action to improve this area of your life" and you set a fantastic goal for yourself. You might even take some action for a week or so. But one day you really need to finish a project at work. Or you feel too tired to go to the gym. Then what happens....? Sadly, your brilliant resolution ever so often gets pushed out of sight on your priority list as soon as other commitments kick in or the automatic pilot of life takes over. Nothing happens really. You didn't do it consistently in the first place, and unless you really make the effort to do things different, nothing will structurally happen ever. It will be the story of your life; "Yeah, I wanted to do it, but....". You will live your life by default. Unless you create a plan around it to stay inspired. This is crucial! Create a clear plan of "attack" and -just as important- then put a system in place to keep you motivate to achieve your goal. A Vision Board is one of the key ingredients, as well as some proper coaching to create an effective plan of action and ongoing inspiration.

9. You see your visualization as a burden, a "must-do-in-order-to"

You may be one of many who feel that visualizing is kind of a burden, another thing on your to-do list in order to achieve your goals. So each day you look at your Vision Board, see the different goals, maybe dream away a little, only to get impatient, jump up and quickly "get on with life". In today's fast paced world it can feel like a challenge to take time to relax and focus on your Vision Board with intent, excitement and anticipation for what is coming your way. The trouble however, is that your visualization won't work unless you do it with conviction. The key is to really relax and properly sink into your goals and dreams in the most wonderful, magical way. Put the phone off the hook, get comfortable and dream away while watching your Vision Board with all the incredible things you would like to do, have or become. One thing that can truly enhance this experience is to make sure your Vision Board is interesting and dynamic to look at and really makes you FEEL your dreams. If possible, have it playing on your iPod so you can even look at it on a truly inspiring place such as the beach or near a stream. You can also have a poster print out next to your bed, so you can look at it first thing in the morning with fresh eyes; the perfect day to set you up powerfully for your day!

10. You don't have a supportive enough environment

When you have big goals and dreams to achieve, one of the things to be aware of is the influence of people you surround yourself with. You see, some people demand a lot of energy by complaining about everything and by doubting your chances of achieving these goals. Spending a lot of time with these kind of people can therefore really influence your positive mind set and actions and could sabotage the achievement of your goals. On the other hand you will find people who seem to emanate a wonderful force of positive energy which makes you sparkle and empowered. These people are interested and support you in your goals. Make an effort to surround yourself with uplifting people like that within your circle of friends and family and via networks, hobby clubs, online communities, etc. They will have big dreams too, so you can keep each other motivated and inspired. Can you see how important an empowering environment like that is if you wish to keep a positive mind set? I realize that you can't always "escape" the negative people in your life, so to counteract their negative vibrations, make sure to have an inspiring Vision Board all around.

So there you have it: ten important reasons why your visualization may not have worked as well as you thought it would. At the same time, you have now also learned about some of the most important techniques of successful, effective visualization. Here is my proven recipe for success: Create a fun, dynamic Vision Board of all the goals that are clear and important to YOU, focus on it with consistency, genuine excitement while thinking from your goals. Add powerful affirmations to counteract any self limiting beliefs you have, put in place a solid plan of action, create massive exposure in various ways and top it off with some powerful people around you. I promise you will be on your way to the stars straight away!

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Loving Yourself by Louise Hay

Essential Life Skills You Could Master This Summer

Summer is only a couple of months away and now seems like the right time for you to chalk out your plans and list out the many things you’d want to strike off your bucket list, for life, starting this summer! Nobody wants to turn into a blob and lie there on the couch all day, watching mindless shows on the television, when in fact you could be mastering a new set of essential skills every single day, all of which will certainly come to your rescue one fine day. If you don’t know where to begin from, here’s a list of essential life skills you could look into:

Bake:

Baking is an entirely rewarding activity. Once you master the art, or get close to being even sufficiently good at it, you would want to spend days baking and gorging on your own goodies! Everybody loves a person who can bake. Besides that, it will allow you to experiment with a whole set of recipes in the kitchen, be self-sufficient and earn brownie points every time you bake for someone!

Swim:

This one is for all of you who love being on beaches, but are never quite prepared to head into the water for a good swim. Swimming is a skill one ought to master as it is relaxing, helps burn a lot of calories, increases your appetite and can be of immense help when any kind of tragedy strikes! Breathe easy and don’t let the massive waves dampen your spirits even as you try to learn the basics. Or, you could just dive into a swimming pool to start with.

Drive:

Nothing makes you feel more independent than being able to drive your own car from place to place and not having to rely on public transport, or worse, on other people. Summers are a good time to enrol yourself for driving lessons after having figured the driving test cost and prepare yourself well, just in case you plan to hit the road any time soon, considering the fact that summers are the best time for road trips!

Go Dancing:

It may not figure on the list of usual set of life skills, but trust us; nothing works better than blowing someone’s mind off with good dancing skills, or at least manageable ones! Join a class, be it for salsa, jive, contemporary, hip-hop or ballroom. Dancing is an excellent way of working out, toning your body and having fun while at it. Before you even realize, you’ll be waltzing your way at dance parties and you will know what an important (social) life skill it is after all.

Go Camping:

Make most of the summers and gather a bunch of friends and head out on a long trail which ends in a night or two of setting camp somewhere. Camping is a quick way of learning more than one survival skill and a fun way of toughening oneself up, making sure that one can survive all vagaries of nature and life, in general!

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KEEP FAILING AND YOU WILL SUCCEED - Best Motivational Video for Success,...

How To Choose a Mentor

The benefits of having a mentor are big. A survey of Fortune 500 companies found that 96% of executives credited mentoring as an important development tool and 75% said mentoring played a key role in their career success.

But how do you get a mentor?

Many employees and managers complain about not having a mentor. Such people are usually waiting for the company to assign a mentor to them. Mentoring works much better when the mentee takes responsibility for choosing a mentor.

So, the first place to start is to find one yourself! Below are some characteristics of great mentors:

Respect: Look for someone that others respect. A mentor should be someone who can be looked up to as a role model of the company’s values and ideals and who understands the culture of the organization, its practices and the strategies needed to negotiate them. Additionally, it should be someone that you want to assist you in planning and achieving your career goals.

Broccoli Pointer: A mentor is someone who is capable of pointing out embarrassing things about how you are "showing up" at work. Think of it this way, if you came back from lunch with broccoli in your teeth, a mentor wouldn’t be shy about pointing it out!

Independent Loyalist: While a mentor is someone who is loyal to the company, he shouldn’t have drunken so much of the organizational happy-juice that he can’t think independently. Pick a mentor who has a mind of his or her own.

There for You: Find a mentor who will be available to meet with you regularly. Regular meetings will help to not only build a relationship, but will also enable you and your mentee to address topics on an on-going basis. Create a schedule. Consider meeting every month or two (sooner if you’re experiencing particularly tough work challenges).

Expert in Their Field: Your mentor should have job-related expertise in the field in which you wish to grow. This might be technological or managerial. It is expertise that you may ­find useful in their current or future roles.

Storytellers: A great mentor is a master storyteller. When you’re struggling with an issue, your mentor should willingly share a story about a similar struggle that he faced in the past.

Lifelong Learner: Experience accumulated through the mentor’s own life of personal issues that are or are likely to be of particular use to the person being mentored. Pick a mentor who constantly strives to be a better leader himself. Ask the mentor who he or she considers to be his or her mentor(s).

The aim of mentoring is to build the capability of you, the mentee. As such, you should always choose a mentor who you feel can respond to your needs in a way that enables you to find your own solutions to problems that you may be dealing with. Ultimately, your mentor should help build you up to eventually have a mentee of your own!


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Have a great week.

Five Ways to Deal with Negative and Cynical People

Most people prefer to work with those who spend more time laughing than complaining. They often get the opposite.

Although people aren't born with a negative attitude, over a life span they experiences disappointments, regrets, and broken promises. Some people are resilient by nature or experience. Others become perpetually cynical, resentful, and paranoid about who will cheat them next.

Unfortunately, negativity can quickly destroy a good mood.

Can you respond to negative people without becoming upset yourself? Can you lift everyone's spirit by overriding the dark cloud of pessimism? There are biological and psychological benefits for fostering hope and optimism even if the people around you are full of doubt.

Here are a few suggestions for dealing with negative people:

1. Avoid reacting. If your tendency is to commiserate and divulge your own complaints, or get annoyed because they ruined your day, practice noticing when your anger or irritation is triggered. Catch your muscles tightening, and then breathe and choose to feel something else. I once had a client put a hook on his office wall so every time a person entered his office with a complaint or horror story, he looked at the hook to remind himself as he slowed his breathing to control his reactive emotions. He then said the word, "patience" to himself and either listened to discover what the person needed or asked to focus on solutions instead of what was wrong.

2. Listen beyond the emotion to what people resent or assume will hurt them. Many people cover their disappointments and fears by complaining, blaming, and criticizing others. Listen to understand their situation and what respect, control, recognition, security, or value they lost. Feeling understood can diffuse their negative feelings. Then you can determine if you can help the person or at least acknowledge that you understand why they feel the way they do. You can read more on how to change people's minds in The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs.

3. Ask the person if they want to find a solution or just need a sounding board to safely express how they feel. You don't need to agree with them. You just need to know what they need in the moment. Start by acknowledging and holding up a mirror to their feelings. For example, you might say, "You seem very upset about not being recognized for your effort. Is that right?" Many habitually negative people walk through life believing no one cares or understands them. Demonstrating that you hear and understand their feelings may be all they need before you can ask them what they want to do next.

4. Don't rehearse what you are going to say while they talk. When people think you are not listening, they spiral deeper into their feelings. They don't need you to fix them, they need you to listen and understand. Then they might respond when you ask them what is in their power to control in the moment so they can begin to feel less victimized.

5. Teach others where your personal boundaries lie. If people are not willing to look at how they might help themselves in the situation, you might hold up the mirror by saying, "You don't seem willing to look for a solution or a different way of dealing with your problem. Is that true?" If they indicate the situation is hopeless, you can say, "I understand why you feel the way you do. I would be happy to take up this conversation with you at another time when you are willing to look at taking a step forward." If they keep complaining, you may have to be more direct by saying, "It is important for me to shift our conversation to something more positive. Either we do that now or later, but I can't keep looking at the dark side of this situation with you now."

Keep in mind that you have the power to choose your feelings, thoughts, and behavior in response to someone else. Notice when your stomach, chest, shoulders, or jaw tighten up. Breathe, relax your muscles, and choose to feel compassionate, curious, patient, or hopeful instead.

It is not easy to create the habit of responding positively to negative, cynical people. Like any new skill, it seems difficult until it becomes easy. You will take two steps forward and one step back. Some people, possibly family members, will always trigger your reactions. Yet step by step, conversation by conversation, you will get better at warding off the contagion of negativity and helping others to move on.


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That’s right: Luck has nothing to do with it, as some allegedly "fortunate" people say. And in this case, "it" doesn’t just mean confidence.

It means life. Life as you'd like it to be. And the life that we see someone leading, when we immediately consider them "lucky".

See, whenever someone seems to reap all the rewards in life, we tend to think of them as "fortunate" or "lucky", yeah?

Well, would you believe me if I told you that ascribing "luck" to anyone or anything is potentially harmful to us?

What exactly is luck anyway? Many people would probably define it as something like, "when things coincidentally fall out to your advantage". But is it really just that?

And more importantly, would we need more than merely coincidence to receive the gifts of life?

(SPOILER ALERT: Yes. Yes it does.)

When Michael Jackson recorded the "Thriller" album, did it sell millions because of "luck"? Or was it because he had spent his entire childhood and adolescence working his derrière off, meticulously honing his craft and gathering a hugely talented team of producers, songwriters and A&R people behind him?

When Steve Jobs released the first iPhone, did it become hugely successful because of "luck"? Or was it because he dared to take chances, push the envelope, fulfil the needs that his customers had -- even ones they didn’t realize they had -- and amass an army of professional developers and marketers behind him?

Sure, Michael Jackson was probably as close to being the proverbial natural talent as they come. And Steve Jobs, according to many, was a natural visionary who simply thought outside the box and dreamt big.

But what good would that have done them if they hadn’t put in the work, insisted upon their dreams, and kept at it for years and years?
Luck has nothing to do with it because "it"doesn’t happen without taking action.

Here’s another thing:

Have you ever seen "Forrest Gump"? If not, it’s a fine movie, and you should see it at least once.*

Forrest Gump, our titular protagonist, is clearly slow-witted, but likeable. And he somehow manages to walk through life and attract all kinds of success and fortune as he cluelessly goes along. Only he never realizes it. Because success and fortune simply doesn’t resonate with his humble mind.

Let’s pause here for a moment. Now, think about your own life.

Have you ever learned a new word, and then in the following days and weeks you saw and heard that word everywhere?

Or have you ever been unemployed and looked for jobs, and all of a sudden job applications are everywhere?

I know, right?

The key word here is awareness.

Forrest Gump doesn’t consciously experience fame and fortune, because his awareness is on a different level. When we’re consciously aware of something, we’re gonna find it.

Not because there’s more of it, but simply because we’ve become aware of it. Like a hunter who deliberately ignores anything but the potential sights and sounds of his prey.
Luck has nothing to do with it, because what good would all the coincidence in the world do us if we weren’t aware of it?

"But wait a minute! What was that thing you said about how ascribing luck to anyone could be "harmful"??"

Yeah, see, that’s because it’s something that non-fident people tend to do. Which is rarely beneficial.

It’s when we’re non-fident that we tend to think in terms of "luck" — and "bad luck". Specifically, we tend to think that other people get all the luck, and that we’re victims of unfortunate circumstances.

This is a conveniently easy way of thinking, because it takes the responsibility for our lives out of our hands. And for the same reason, it’s also a dangerous way of thinking.

But when we allow ourselves to go for the life we want, consistently taking action and raising our awareness will make sure that we get it.

Some people might be born with certain advantages, yes. But imagine how many people never put that advantage to any use. Either because they never see the possibilities and/or because they’re simply too shy to act on it.

And now, think of all the famous media persons who obviously wouldn’t recognize talent even if it came out of nowhere and took away all their limelight.

Think of all the wealthy corporate leaders who got where they are by being uncompromising, cold as ice, playing the game and doing what’s best for the company no matter what.

Think of all the powerful politicians, all the Frank Underwood’s of the world, who got to where they are by lying, manipulating, and probably worse.
Really, luck has nothing to do with it. But being aware of our opportunities, and taking consistent action towards them has everything to do with it.

ACTION ITEM:

This week, take up learning something new. Something you've been wanting to get into, only you couldn't find the time (or whatever excuse you made for yourself).

Set aside 1/2 hour every night, monday through friday, for working on that thing only. Nothing else. This means, turn off your phone. No phone; no social media or other distractions. Just you and your new challenge.

Getting into this sort of habit will eventually prove to us that luck has nothing to do with it. -- And that practice, consistency, and focus are the keys to accomplishing pretty much anything.

* Yes, I know it’s originally a book. So are a lot of great movies.
Source

WHY ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING | Les Brown, Jim Rohn | Motivational Video 2018

Tapping Into Your Reflective Soul

Most likely as a child or young adult there was a time where you felt that the world was yours and that you could accomplish anything you set your mind to achieve. The sky was big and you not only felt you could reach for the stars but you could lasso the moon. In other words, you dreamt big and had no fear of failure or rejection.

There was also likely a time that some one, some thing, some event or some place brought you great joy. It was not just a passing feeling. Whatever "it" was, the feelings associated with "it" are deeply engrained within your soul. Perhaps the feelings associated with "it" are something you recall to help you through tough times, but most likely that person, event, place or thing has been buried and is rarely thought of, if ever.

Whatever "it" was, the reason it resonated with you is likely because it went deep to your inner soul. As you experienced "it" all was right with the world and the more you thought about "it" the more joy it brought you.

Think about it. How many times has the smell of a particular food taken you back to a time in your life associated with good memories? Perhaps the smell of chocolate chip cookies reminded you of your grandma’s recipe. From that one smell not only can you imagine Grandma cooking them, you can also imagine the taste and other sights and sounds associated with that special time with your grandmother. In this case the chocolate chip cookies would be your "it".

Or perhaps just by looking at a photo you are transported back to a time and place of great joy. As you think about this particular memory specific details begin to surface. Memories that you hadn’t thought of for a very long time. When these moments occur you have tapped in to what I call your reflective soul.

Sadly most of us do not tap into our reflective souls nearly as much as we should. More importantly it is not so much as no tapping into those memories, it is is more so that we are not aware of when we do. When something happens that makes us smile and experience happiness we tend to enjoy it at the time, but are quick to let that feeling flee and return to our busy lives.

As a life and mindfulness coach and the founder of Reflective Soul Coaching, I specialize in helping folks to not only tap into earlier feelings of joy and limitless possibilities from long ago, I teach others how to create access points to all things that bring them joy and recreate the feelings associated with them.

If you, like me, love roller coasters you know the exhilaration and excitement of riding a particularly thrilling coaster. In the average three minute ride of a roller coaster you are likely to experience a multitude of feelings. While it is impossible to ride a roller coaster anytime you want to feel any one of those assorted feelings, you can use access points to feel any one or more of those feelings by revisiting your reflective soul.

Of course there are more practical uses for tapping into your reflective soul than reliving a roller coaster ride. Imagine being able to get that job you have been afraid to apply for simply by accessing a point in your reflective soul where you felt completely capable of achieving anything. Simply by accessing that time in your life when you felt invincible you can gather confidence to walk into an interview and increase your chances for getting hired greatly.

Using mindfulness techniques and my extensive coaching skills, I work with clients to discover who they are within their reflective soul and harness those feelings to create a life of their choosing. Anyone can tap into their reflective soul anywhere and most importantly at any time.By learning to tap into and create new access points, I have seen my clients accomplish great things.


Source http://www.articlebiz.com/article/1051643520-1-tapping-into-your-reflective-soul/

Quote - Dr John Demartini

The 3 pillars of success

The three pillars are a system that I have developed which comes from years of research & practice from Napoleon Hill's teaching of the theory of success. Zig Zealar on his power to motivation mass group of people and Silver Raven Wolfe on her teachings of the mysticism and metaphysical practices. Each of their teachings is different, but there is a common thread in all of their teachings. I have taken there teaching have analyzed all these masters teachings and found what if we practiced on all three of what I call the 3 pillars of success? Would we take something good and turbocharge it into something great!

I have used these three models on myself and found even those I am working in a role that I don't feel is the best fit for myself. I am becoming better and stronger or gain more success in what I am doing. I have been a practiced many other forms of success building such as Law of Attraction reading books from the above authors. Yes, it helped but was not the magic built that we all looking for.

What are the 3 pillars of success? Making you physically stronger, making you mentally stronger and making spiritually stronger. This is the key to success in anything that you do or want to do in life. Don't forget to follow the teaching of Napoleon Hill one must follow his passion (heart), ones burring desires and have the commitment to your dreams. I will expand on each of these areas.

1. The physical: Do some form of physical activity (experiences) at least 3 times a week for at least 15 minutes. This is just a minimal amount more is better. Eat healthy food and try to avoid junk food. Make sure you get the sleep your body needs. Our society has overstressed the importance of the physical and under stress the importance of the mental and spiritual development.

2. The mental/emotional: If you can have some quiet time to envision what you really want. And envision that person, item, job, career, car or what you really want. You can light some candles, play some meditation music, burn some Incense. Do this for 15 minutes or longer a per day. Do positive affirmations such as "The universe gives me everything I need", "I have the perfect career", "I am worth $100,000.00 per year". Be creative and make your own affirmations or search the Internet for some more ideas.

3. The spiritual: For some attending a region ceremonial weekly is enough. For others, they have to experience the higher power and are the witness of this God/Creators/Universe/Spirit. Not all of the population is meant to walk in the path of psychic, healer or mystic. For the ones that are brave enough to experience the higher power, this is what you need to do? One will start with mediation, this is the key to opening yourself to the universe. Why do you think so many westerns are driven to the eastern religious? They seem more mystical in what do they do, they mediate! You will have to find the medication that is right for you. Don't be scared try one if you don't like it try another one until you find the one that is right for you. The one I find that is very powerful is call the white light meditation. You envision a white light ball of light above you see it going through your crown chakra and continue to go through all your 7 Charkas.  You envision golden roots coming from your feet going into the ground and going to the center of the earth. Feel the energy coming from the ground and moving up from the ground and moving into your body and going into your heart Charka. Let it come out as a white mist and form a white ball around your body. Spin it in any direction. Say to yourself or out load I send my excuses healing energy to the universe or to the planet earth to service the higher or greater good. Have this ball of light keep spindling going faster and faster. Then let it explode and fee the energy leaving your body. Wait a few moments. Next, envision a ball of light forming around your (I like to change the colors of the light each day: red, orange, yellow/gold, green, pink, blue, purple, and white) spin it in different directions until you have 3 balls of light spinning around you in different directions. Try to do this daily. This will heal you and open up any blocked charkas. This will ground and protect you all at the same time. You're also improving your Karma by sending out healing energy. When you start walking to the path of metaphysics the cosmic boggy man (Darkness, Evil, Demons, Devil) does not like you and will want to harm you. What if don't know want you out of life? Pray for assistants, meditate on it, ask your spiritual guides or guardian angel for help. It will come to you. But you have to be open to the signs. The God/Creators/Universe/Spirit has a team that can be dispatched to aid you just have to ask.

The law of attraction is a good tool for opening you're self to the universe. The law of attraction aka the Secret is using the positive thoughts, doing to others as you want to do to yourself. Treating others with respect and honor. Bring the energy of love, joy, gratitude, happiness, tolerance etc. Try to remove and eliminate negative thoughts such as hate, anger, jealousy, intolerance etc. Doing daily affectation, and mediation. Doing all this will start awakening you're from the dream that we all live in and you will start experiencing spiritual world.

What else can you do to make the experience more powerful? Like I said the basics are already given. Have a place in your home you can start a holy altar. Place symbols that have a meaning to you. The basic candle color is white for God/Creators/Universe/Spirit. The yellow or gold candles will aid you to attract what you want. Green candles for healing and good luck. Pink is for love and Relationships. Red is the colors of fire and is used for acceleration and one seeing lust and sex.

The basic crystals are clear quartz is for improving energy, so you place it with another crystal or a set of crystals will amplify the energy. If you are looking for a good set to manifest this would be my personal recommendations Aventurine, Carnelian, Yellow Citrine and Clear Quartz. If you would be trying to attract love this would be the set I would recommend Moonstone, Prehnite, Quantum Quattro, Yellow Citrine and Rose Quartz. Don't forget you can still use the clear crystal to amplifier these crystals. Everyone has a different opinion about clearing, charging, and programming crystals. One of the easy ways to use Selenite crystals to do the clearing and charging for you. The programming is what do you want the crystal(s) to do for you. It is placing your intentions into the crystal. You can speak to the crystal, you can pray over the crystal. You can envision your intention leaving your 3rd eye going into the crystal in the form of a beam light. You can write what you want on a piece of paper and roll each side of the crystal over the writing.

There is all type of information on candles, crystals, and incense on the web or a local metaphysical store. Reminder it is the not the crystals, candles or incense that do all the work it is you! So, do spend a lot of time or money buying that special candle, crystals or incense. Yes, they help! But some of my most powerful experience was without using the aids. This is discipline you have to train yourself to do this, if it does not work at first keep trying, it will work.

Let me give you little more background on myself. I have been working many years in call centers never like it, feeling drained and worn out. To me, it is the devils' workshop! My solution was to get a better job outside of this call center environment. It seemed hard to find something better. And when I received something better what happened it did not last and I had to go back to the call center. By the way, college-educated graduated from a top 20 university and graduated with honors from another university. This should not be happening to me? I read a number of this book from the above authors and many others to help me fix my problem. It did come to me why I always seem to be gravitating to the call centers? It because you have to learn how to be the master and not the slave of this situation.

Once you learn to become the master it, you will move on. This the teaching of Karmic law. I feel my purpose is to teach others these pillars of success and teach others how to heal themselves of the toxic environments that our society has created.


Source: http://www.articlebiz.com/article/1051644177-1-the-3-pillars-of-success/

Quote - Dr John Demartini

Forget about forgetting your insecurity — here’s what to do instead!

Deep down, we’d all like to be able to simply forget — or delete — our insecurity.

Some people will claim that we’re better off having insecurity. Because it’s a natural, human trait that keeps us grounded and in touch with our humility.

But when someone with certain ambitions also has low confidence… They just wanna find that insecurity and simply press ‘delete’.

I know you’re out there, and I totally hear you.

However, here’s why we need to go about it a different way…:

Obviously there’s the fact that doing away with a considerable part of our mindset tends to be a time- and resource-demanding process.

But there’s also the fact that when we want to get rid of something, first we need to accept it.

Those of you who struggle with stress and panic anxiety will know this. The more we fight it, the worse it tends to get. It doesn’t start to go away until we calmly and openly acknowledge and accept that it’s there.

It’s like that for all imaginable problems, really.

Hell, just imagine trying to walk on a broken leg because you won’t accept that it’s broken. Not exactly clever, yeah?

When we accept something, we grow a little. I’m all about personal growth, and this case is no exception.
Because, just like with stress and anxiety, when we embrace insecurity, its influence lessens because we allow ourselves to contain it.

When we’re big enough, we can contain anything. Including the things that have been opposing us. And if we simply absorb our obstacles, they’re no longer in our way.

Pretty cool philosophy, right?

Furthermore, if you’ve ever been insecure, you’ll always remember that feeling no matter how hard you try to forget it. So really, it’s no use. But the root of the matter is, it’s not about forgetting; it’s about learning to ignore it at the right moments.

And yes, I specifically use the word 'ignore' here. Some might think me self-contradictory for talking about embracing insecurity first and then simply ignore it. But really, this is how confident people do it.

Given the right set of circumstances, anyone can feel insecure about something. This is basic, primal neural functions at work. We’re hardwired to look for trouble. But that doesn’t mean there’s really anything to be insecure about. So we need to learn to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Then, we’ll be able to tell our insecurity to calm down when it’s not useful.

Which, in fact, it rarely is.

Now, apart from acknowledging your insecurity, there are several things you can do that will naturally diminish it.

If done right, meditation helps. Also, exercise is always a good thing. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep should go without saying. (And then, of course, there’s confidence coaching, which I most heartily recommend!)

Different things work for different people. But however you live your life, always remember this:

Everyone feels insecurity. Even confident people. It's what we DO about it that shows our real character.

Source

Quote

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Amazing Motivational Story

Affirmation from Louise Hay

8 Genius Ways to Hide the Fact That You're Nervous

It is hard to escape those moments in life when you are feeling incredibly nervous. Even if we plan ahead and rehearse, our body’s reaction to being nervous can flare up in very uncomfortable physiological ways. We get that rush of adrenaline and our stomach feels like it’s turning upside down. We begin to sweat, our cheeks flush, and some of us even develop a nervous tic—bouncing knee, twitchy foot, nail biting, blinking too rapidly, or speaking too quickly. This fight-or-flight reaction is perfectly normal, although unsettling and, at times, quite embarrassing.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to calm yourself down enough making it possible for you to get through any situation no matter how nervous you become?

Here are some great ways to hide your nervous behavior so you can tackle any nerve-racking event in your life.

1. Breathe

Being nervous can disrupt normal breathing. Your breathing can become shallow and irregular. Is it any wonder we often feel faint when nervous? Take a few deep breaths and find your normal breathing pattern—that deep breath will help you relax too.

2. Don’t Admit It

One of the worst things you can do is admit you are nervous. This brings the focus fully on you and all those horribly natural things that are happening to your body when nervous.

3. Speak Slowly

When we are nervous, we often speak much too quickly. Be conscious of this and make a point of speaking slowly. Even if it sounds too slow to you, chances are those who are listening will think it’s just right. Much better to leave a meeting with your message delivered clearly instead of people scratching their heads saying, “What did he just say?”

4. Relax Your Body

Do a quick body check and purposefully try to relax and calm your body’s nervous reactions—relax your panicked, tightened muscles. Sit up straight, but in a relaxed way, not too rigid. Make sure your feet and hands are calm and relaxed—no bouncing, tapping, or wringing allowed. Relax the muscles in your face so you’re not frowning or looking worried.

5. Maintain Eye Contact

You are screaming, “I’m nervous” when you don’t maintain consistent eye contact nervously glancing around the room instead. Maintain eye contact without robotically staring—it’s okay to look away occasionally to gather your thoughts.

6. Ask a Question

If you are feeling nervous and having a hard time getting your thoughts out, ask a question—the attention is all of a sudden on others, not you. This will give you time to take a deep breath, calm down, and collect your thoughts so you can articulate better what you are trying to say.

7. Be Yourself

Remind yourself that you are fine just the way you are and take the focus off everything going perfectly. Go into situations knowing that you might make a mistake, and that’s OK—you’re human just like everyone else in the world. Don’t force a smile or tell a corny joke. Just let conversations happen naturally and smile or tell that joke when or if it’s appropriate.

8. Still Struggling?

Tried everything and you are still struggling to hide your nervousness? According to Alison Wood Brooks at Harvard Business School, you should turn your nervousness into excitement. Instead of being nervous and saying you’re nervous, be excited and say you’re excited. She observed a fake it until you make it effect on a study group who tried to hide their nervousness by saying that they were excited instead and, sure enough, this group outperformed the group that admitted they were nervous.
She believes that by channeling our nervous feelings into excitement, we tend to focus on positive outcomes instead of all the things that could potentially go wrong when we’re nervous—definitely worth a try!


Source

3 Proven Ways to Increase Your Confidence

Confidence has a hypnotic effect on people.

The first time I recognized it was at a flamenco show in Barcelona a few years back. I was mesmerized by the performance of a beautiful full-figured middle-aged woman. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her as she danced. My friends and I eventually dubbed her “the most confident woman in the world.”

It was like she bathed in a tub full of confidence on a daily basis. I knew if I had just a piece of what she exuded while on that stage, I would be unstoppable.
There’s data to back that up. Studies show that confidence is closely correlated with success, and even more so than competence.

That’s why it feels like some of the people we most associate with being successful appear to have an abundance of the coveted trait.

But the reality is, confidence is something we all can develop and increase. Even better, science has shown us specifically how to do it.

In their book The Confidence Code, authors Katy Kay and Claire Shipman went on an extensive quest to find out how people could increase their confidence. Here’s how they summarized their findings:

“And so fortunately, a substantial part of the confidence code is what psychologists call volitional: our choice. With diligent effort, we can all choose to expand our confidence. But we will get there if we stop trying to be perfect and start being prepared to fail.”

Take imperfect action. Fail. Use what you learn to take action again. Repeat until you consistently get results you can feel proud and confident about.

Let’s take a closer look at how to start implementing these methods:

1. Surround yourself with confident people.

In her best-selling book Grit, Angela Duckworth explained that one of the ways to develop grit, or any other trait you aspire to have, is to spend time with a group of people who are doing what you want to do or possess the skill you desire to develop.

“The drive to fit in—to conform to the group—is powerful indeed. Some of the most important psychology experiments in history have demonstrated how quickly, and usually without conscious awareness, the individual falls in line with a group that is acting or thinking a different way.”

Thus, if you struggle to be confident, start hanging around confident people. Not only will you start embodying the mindset that helps them be successful, but you’ll start to latch on to the activities that enabled them to get there, too.

When I started learning how to dance Argentine tango, everyone I knew danced better than me. My confidence level was at zero. But they kept encouraging me to dance, to go to classes and to try new things while on the dance floor. Their confidence in me fueled my own. And their commitment to practicing to get better made it easier for me to do the same.

2. Take consistent action.

I’ve spent a significant amount of time studying successful entrepreneurs, performers and leaders from many different walks of life. And one of the key markers that fueled their attainment of mastery, that gave them the confidence to perform at such a high level, was taking action. Consistently.
They showed up, day in, day out, over and over again, to do the work that would help them improve their skills.

Performers who sell out stadiums around the world, pro-athletes who dominate their sport, entrepreneurs who appear to have the magic touch—all of them invested significant time in the trenches taking the actions necessary that enabled them to get so good that they could not be ignored.

Confidence comes from knowing you are capable of completing a task to your level of satisfaction. You can’t think your way to that kind of confidence. Deliberate action (not merely busyness) produces the know-how you need.

Data proves this, as well. Dan Chambliss is a sociologist who spent years studying Olympic swimmers and what enabled them to perform at such a high level.

“Superlative performance is really a confluence of dozens of small skills or activities, each one learned or stumbled upon, which have been carefully drilled into habit and then are fitted together in a synthesized whole. There is nothing extraordinary or superhuman in any one of those actions; only the fact that they are done consistently and correctly, and all together, produce excellence.”

When excellence becomes your habit, confidence will be a natural byproduct. And the only way to develop a habit is to do the work over and over again.

3. Fail your way to mastery.

You don’t get to mastery without a string of failures that point you in the right direction to deliver predictable high-quality results.

Of course, nobody wants to fail. But if you want to succeed, that is exactly what you have to get more comfortable doing.

Failure leaves clues as to how to succeed. And success breeds confidence.

The more often you fail, the more knowledge you obtain about what works and what doesn’t. The more insight you have about how to produce a hit, the easier it becomes for you to be confident that the path you are moving along will bring you the results you desire. The more progress you make, the less likely you have your confidence destroyed when something doesn’t go your way.

Seth Godin is an 18-time best-selling author. Before he published any of his best-sellers, he spent 10 years as a book packager, producing a book a month. Producing 120 books, many of which sold very little, taught him many things about how to deliver work his audience wanted to buy.

James Dyson spent 15 years producing more than 5,000 prototypes before he developed the one that launched his billion dollar vacuum company. He wrote:
“There were tough times, but each failure brought me closer to solving the problem.”

You can become more confident no matter your starting point. It all starts with recognizing that you can develop the competence you need to be excellent. And then, of course, you’ve got to take the necessary actions that will help you get there.

In time, as your skills grow, so will your confidence, the mesmerizing effect you have on people and your level of success.


Source

The Answer Lies in How

All successful people ask how. They’re proactive. They’re action-oriented, and the word ‘how’ is like pushing the button on a detonator. I firmly believe in the power of asking how. The answer to a how question always triggers you into explosive action. Read on to learn more!

Ask How and Get the Answers You Need

Truthfully, you can’t ask ‘How do I solve this?,’ ‘How do I achieve it?,’ ‘How do I get there?,’ or ‘How do I overcome it?’ without being triggered into taking some kind of action. That’s the power of how.

The Questions Unsuccessful People Ask

 

 

If top people think about what they want and how to get it, what is it that unhappy, unsuccessful people think about most of the time? Well, let me tell you. They think about what they don’t want or who’s to blame. That’s the basic summary of all abnormal psychology. They think about what they don’t want, which makes them unhappy. Then they think about who is to blame, which makes them angry. 

In order to achieve, you need to move past this mindset. The goal is to mature to the point where you realize that you are in command of your own life. You’re in charge. You make things happen. You’re not a victim. That was then, this is now.

Never allow your past to determine your future. If you want to find success, think about what you want and how to get it.

The Questions Successful People Ask

 

When you turn toward the sunshine and start to think about what you want and how to get it, the shadow of negativity falls behind you. You realize you can’t change any of that stuff from the past anyway, so why fret over it anymore? You have control now. Now you can ask how.

One of the easiest ways to waste life away is to be upset about something that happened in the past that you can’t change. Instead, you need to think about what you want in the future and how you’re going to get it. Keep your mind so focused on the future that all those other things just peel away like dead skin.

Don’t allow unhappy experiences in the past to keep re-emerging in your daily life. This is what holds us back. This is what stops people from succeeding.

Maybe some things happened to you that were beyond your control. Maybe those events had consequences that detoured or even derailed some goals in your life up until this point. You may even still be living with those consequences today. However, you are responsible for your life now. You are responsible for asking the right questions, for understanding the things that you want and how to get them.

Nobody is smarter than you. Nobody is better than you. If they are doing better, they have just figured out how. You can figure out how, too.

Source

Feeling Stressed? Try These 3 Meditation Techniques

Stress negatively impacts businesses each day. Overworked, overwhelmed employees often feel as though they’re running in circles, never quite getting anything accomplished. Over time, this feeling can lead to burnout, severe job dissatisfaction, and susceptibility to a number of diseases and illnesses.

The positive effects of meditation have been well documented over the years, but time-challenged professionals hardly have time to go to yoga every day. Luckily, you don’t have to take a regular class to put valuable meditation techniques into use in your everyday life. Here are some meditation practices you can bring into your daily stressful situations:

1. Practice mindful awareness.

One of the most useful aspects of yoga for your daily life is mindful awareness. In a meditation session, this involves merely clearing your mind and focusing on the present moment. By centering yourself and thinking only about your breathing and posture, you can move yourself away from the stresses of the day and truly be in the moment.

There are tricks you can employ in your daily life, too, without closing your eyes and sitting still. Try using observation to appreciate the environment around you—as you wash your hands, focus on the feeling of the water as it hits your skin, or as you open a door, truly feel the doorknob. You can also focus on one object to the exclusion of all else to relax your mind, like a leaf blowing on a tree outside your office window or a dust particle floating through the air—anything that provides an appreciation for natural objects.

Raj Jana, the founder of JavaPresse Coffee Company, created a meditative practice through something as simple as grinding his morning coffee. “In this period of mandatory downtime,” Jana explains, “my hands are too busy to text, and I’m too occupied to think.” All of his energy and focus is devoted to grinding the coffee, from noticing how his hands are moving to taking in the aroma of the beans.

2. Find a mantra.

Mantras are often associated with the word “om” and are used in many meditation sessions to refocus the mind. But your mantra can be any word you choose. Popular modern mantras include Norman Vincent Peale’s “I change my thoughts, I change my world” and Gandhi’s “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Choose a saying that reminds you of your own goals and dreams and use that mantra to quiet your mind and center your thoughts.

When you find yourself feeling overly stressed, find a quiet place where you can clear your mind and relax. In time, you’ll likely find that you can use that mantra in any stressful situation to calm yourself. Your colleagues will respect your ability to remain cool under pressure and react to every situation professionally.

3. Just breathe.

There’s a reason breathing is so closely connected to yoga and meditation. When you take deep breaths, it actually tricks the body into reversing the physiological effects of burnout, such as rapid heartbeat, tense muscles and dilated pupils. Deep breaths slow your heart rate, improve oxygen delivery and lower your blood pressure, effectively reducing the health problems that can result from too much stress.

For best results, practice breathing exercises when you’re alone. When a stressful situation arises, you’ll then be well versed in the art and able to put it to use to calm your mind, even if you’re in a business meeting or facing a hostile co-worker in your office. You can choose from several different types of breathing exercises to find the one that works best for you, including abdominal breathing, progressive relaxation and guided visualization using an online meditation audio tool.

When used correctly, meditation is a great way to battle the many stresses professionals face every day. By practicing these exercises when not in a stressful situation, you can prepare yourself to use them when others are around.


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Motivational quote

Quote - Dr. Demartini

Morning Routine: 10 Teeny Tiny Things You can do to Start One

A meaningful morning routine can make all the difference in how you move through your day, the way you treat other people and in how you feel. My morning routine has been on the fritz this summer. I haven’t been as consistent or engaged as I usually am.

When I stopped meditating every morning, nothing bad happened. When I stopped writing 3 pages every single morning, I didn’t notice a big change at first. Slowly though, I noticed.

Just like when I noticed the benefits of practicing a morning routine consistently over time, I noticed the negatives over time too.

Without a consistent morning routine …

• I’m not as focused throughout the day.
• I feel more sluggish when I wake up.
• It feels like something is missing.
• I’m less present.
• My creative ideas don’t flow as well.

While none of these negatives are life shattering, it’s clear that when I am practicing my morning routine, I am more focused, energized, creative and loving. Those things are important to me so it’s time to get back on track.

Whether you are starting a new morning routine or getting back on track with me, you don’t have to overhaul your morning or your life to get started.

10 teeny tiny things you can do to get started

1. Stop saying you aren’t a morning person.
It’s a great excuse but it doesn’t matter. Start your morning routine whenever your morning starts, even if it’s in the afternoon.

2. Be grateful.
Wake up and write down three things you are grateful for. If you can’t think of anything, remember what made you smile yesterday, the first person you thought of when you woke up, or the last thing that made you laugh.

3. Stretch in bed.
Wiggle your toes. Roll your hips from side to side. Reach your fingers to the ceiling. Stretch your lungs too and take a few deep breaths.

4. Hide your phone.
Do whatever it takes to be digital free until you’ve enjoyed your morning routine. Eventually you may want to use a meditation app or other tool on your phone during your morning routine, but start without it so you aren’t tempted to check email, news, or other apps.

5. Make a list of morning routine activities.
Eliminate the painful process of making decisions when you first wake up. Instead, make a list of what you’d like to include in your morning routine and choose two or three to start with.



6. Create a morning not to-do list.
You may have more clarity on how you want to spend your morning minutes after clearly identifying what you don’t want to do. Make a list of the things that don’t add value to your mornings. Here are a few things you may want to include on your not to-do list.

7. Put pen and paper nearby.
Journaling is a great way to leave your worries on paper, work through an issue or release some of the excess thoughts clouding your mind.

8. Create accountability.
Challenge a friend to 10 days of practicing a morning routine. Agree to text each other a simple, “I did it” after your practice.

9. Turn on the music.
Quiet background music can help to keep you engaged and present in your morning routine. Create a 5 minute playlist and practice your morning routine for as long as the music lasts for the first week. Add a minute or two to your playlist and routine each week.

10. Show up.
Even if you don’t do anything during your morning routine, show up for it every morning for a week. Dedicate five minutes to getting on your yoga mat, sitting at your kitchen table, on the floor next to your bed, or wherever you’d like to be. Just show up.

Sometimes my morning routine is hours of writing, walking, yoga, and meditation but tomorrow I’ll just take a teeny tiny step and write for five minutes. Where will you start?

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