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Abraham Hicks Dont Force It Just Be

Okay, so you messed up. Now what?

Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up.

For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating.

I know. Because I used to be ashamed of things I did or said. All the time.

And I’m not talking about calmly realizing one’s wrongdoing and immediately learning from it. I’m talking an involuntary panic-anxiety-attack-like-muscle-spasms-complete-with-grinding-teeth-and-making-noises sorta sensation.

With an inner voice going like: "Screw you! You messed up, and you're useless! You're unable to do anything right, and you should be locked away! You messed up, and that's all you're ever gonna do!"

Every day, several times.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. It could be a misused word, a social faux pas… anything.

When non-fident people react drastically to making any kind of mistake, it’s because non-fidence is often accompanied by low self-esteem, perfectionism, and insecurity.

When we have low self-esteem, we tend to judge ourselves more vigorously than we would our peers. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re hard on ourselves. Simple as that.

But moreover, if we don’t allow for ourselves to make mistakes, we develop perfectionism. Which, in turn, makes it seem so much worse to us when we do make a mistake. — Or even do something in a manner less than "perfect". (Which, as I’ve written about before, is a BS notion.)

And then there’s the insecurity, which doesn’t allow for much space for mistakes, nor for even trying. This is governed by the amygdala — the reptilian part of our brain — most commonly known for our "fight or flight" mechanism.

See, amongst our primitive ancestors, social identity was way more important than today. Dangers were all around. If you messed up something, it could get you expelled from your tribe and thrown out into the wilderness on your own.

All of this perfectly illustrates the dangerous downward spiral of non-fidence. If we have low regard for ourselves we make less space for ourselves to make mistakes. This, in turn, causes making mistakes to be even more likely, which, then, will only lead to much more self-loathing and shame.

Because we DO make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. We know this perfectly well, yet tend to act like we’re the only flawed person alive.

But here’s the kicker:
Confident people make WAY many more mistakes than less confident people.

The more confident you are, the less regard you give to other people’s opinion about you. The higher you think of yourself, the less you worry about making mistakes. You know perfectly well that your rights outnumber your wrongs. You know perfectly well that you’re able to learn from your mistakes.

Indeed, if you don’t make mistakes, you can never learn. And if you don’t learn, you don’t grow.

In other words:
For every time you messed up something in life, you had the opportunity to learn, grow, and prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.

So get out there and mess up. Badly. Learn, improve, repeat. And as you learn and grow, watch as your confidence grows with you.

ACTION ITEM:

The next time you're embarrassed about something, use the following method:

- Stop what you're doing.
- Breathe. Ten long, deep breaths.
- Think. Realize that whatever negative response on your part are merely thoughts, and that they're not necessarily true, constructive or favourable.
- Choose how you want to feel about what happened. Do you genuinely want to be ashamed? Or would you rather accept, learn, and grow?

The choice is yours.

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Quote - Patience

Happy Valentines

What is Behavior-Based Goal Setting?

When we think of goal setting, we usually think of things that envision a specific outcome. Some examples include:

• Lose 20 pounds.
• Increase income by 10%.
• Buy a larger house/newer vehicle.
• Run a marathon.
• Save money for college.

Of course, these are just a few of the more common goals that people set for themselves. But what if we based them on changing behaviors instead of obtaining a specific outcome? Could we modify or completely change behaviors that would lead us to the desired outcome quicker, healthier, and with less stress? Some experts certainly think so.

Many times, when we set intentions, we focus on the negative, i.e. what we don’t want rather than what we do want. Behavior-based goals focus more on the behaviors we want to strengthen rather than the negative actions we want to remove. In strengthening the positive behaviors, we change the way we act and react in many situations – not just situations surrounding a target that is outcome-based. The ripple effect of creating more positive behaviors in our lives is wide-reaching, affecting far more than just what we may have had in mind when creating the goal.

Many businesses today are focusing on behavior-based objectives rather than outcome-based ones, because of this ripple effect. Smart companies know that when behavior changes for the positive, the employee is happier not only at work but in their personal life and family life as well. A happier employee is a more productive employee. So managers are learning to integrate behavior-based goals at each employee review.

This type of target-setting isn’t seen just in the office, either. Personal trainers, life coaches, psychologists, therapists, and so many other professions are adding behavior-based goal setting to their repertoire of techniques. This helps those in these industries to help their clients reach success, whatever that may mean to them.

Targets that change behaviors can be seen as a kind of intermediate goal that helps one achieve outcome-based objectives easier, faster, and with more residual positive effects. A positive behavior that is strengthened in order to reach a goal is going to be strengthened in every situation where that behavior is utilized.

Try setting a few behavior-based goals of your own and you’ll see that positively changing a behavior really helps in so many different areas of your life. The results are great, and your new positive behaviors will serve you well for the rest of your life.

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Quote from Eleanor Roosevelt

Quote - the Rock

The Law Of Vibration | Bob Proctor | The Secret Law Of Attraction Coaching

Motivation

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15 Habits That Will Make You Successful - Psychology Today

Quote - Leadership

Quote from Aditya Prakash

Love quote

The 7 "P"s

Positivity - Persevere - Prosperity - Professionalism - Persistency - Patience & Procrastination

7 "P" words starting with Positivity - where one is as important as the next for your overall character. (Except of course for Procrastination!)

The following are common "P" words that have been - or are a part of how you operate every day. Below they are touched on briefly however you can delve further into each topic via the links in each segment or, at the end of the article.

So Which Is The Most Important?
Well they all play a significant part if you were to relate them to successful business practise. You would most probably like most of these attributes in your overall character. However if it is procrastination you suffer from on the odd occasion, then it will definitely be something you will need to address.

Lets Start With Positivity

Continually being a positive person is another wonderful attribute to have. Feeling positive and happy all the time about your business, your personal life, just your everyday things you do. Positive people are wonderful to hang out, converse with and really a delight to be around. Totally beats the complete opposite - Negativity!!!

Prosperity
Being prosperous or having a prosperity conscious mind will serve you greatly. It's so important to consciously think success and abundance and realize there is enough for all. Having prosperity consciousness as opposed to possessing the opinion that there is not enough to go around or feeling complete lack will not serve you at all.

Persistency
Sometimes when I think of persistency, I think of children. They do it beautifully, and sometimes not so - but the end result is they usually get what they were going after. Being persistent in your goals or your business or whatever it is you are striving for is a pretty good quality to have. And usually with good result. Learn to persist and more importantly possess the 'never give up' attitude.

How To Persevere
Changing your life personally or professionally is no easy feat however persevering with what information you study and read. The people you surround yourself with, the dreams you go after, but also learning what motivates you to make these changes and continue with them is also a good attribute to have.

If you are not happy with one of these the important thing is to not settle. Again perseverance is key in finding out what works for you, your personal life and your career.

Professionalism
Depending on where - or what your work description is - there are certainly different definitions of professionalism. You may absolutely need to "look the professional" and be the complete package within your workplace - a polished act when interacting with fellow peers or clients etc.

However if you're like me, you have an online business. Your professionalism my lay in the way you speak with prospects on the phone, or using a "skilled and professional attitude" when marketing and advertising. Being professional most definitely requires contribution from the other "p" words or attributes outlined earlier in this article.

Having Patience
This is definitely one of the important "P" words. After implementing a positive mindset for physical or business success. Persevering with different actions you take and being persistent in all of them daily. Then having patience for the fruits of your labors to unfold is imperative.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Your business success and newly toned, healthy body wont be either!
Have Patience.

And Last But Not Least - Procrastination
Even though it is something we don't like to have, at times it can raise it's ugly head. It could be procrastinating about a business decision, maybe something to do with your family or just an indecisive action in your own personal well being.

Perhaps it is the fact you may just succeed at the task and have a fear of success. Even though it may occur, the important thing is you are aware of it, do your hardest to overcome it - and get on with it!!!

Someday is not a day of the week. -Author Unknown


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Be happy

The Power of Habit: Setting Up "Triggers" to Sustain Habits

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Abraham Hicks ~ Do This At Least Once A Day ~ 15 Minute Daily Meditation