Friday, 9 March 2018

How to Access the Power of Ambition


What is the origin of true ambition? There exists really only one place to find true ambition, and that is within you—in every thought, in every movement, in every motivation. Your ambition is an expression of who you truly are, your own self-expression.

Ambition says, I know who I am and I know where I want to go. I’m accumulating knowledge and experiences and feelings and philosophies that will help prepare me for opportunities that I know will show up without notice or any help on my part. Because you know where you want to go, you have already been working on the parts of your personality that will make you better. Working on your attitude, working on your health, working on your time management skills. Putting it all down on paper. And you constantly see yourself in the place you want to be, going in the direction you want to go.

Direction determines destination. So here is a question you must ask yourself: Are all the disciplines that I’m currently engaged in taking me where I want to go? What an important question to ask yourself at the beginning of the month, the beginning of the week, the beginning of the day. Don’t kid yourself—fingers crossed—hoping you will arrive at a good destination when you’re not even headed that way. You have to ask yourself often, AM I? Am I doing the disciplines that are taking me in the direction I want to go? Don’t neglect to ask these important questions, questions that help determine your direction, the set of your sail, your destination.

  • Is this the direction I want for my life?
  • Is this someone else’s direction?
  • Is this a goal I have been ingrained with since my childhood?
  • Is this goal my parent’s, my spouse’s, my boss’s, my children’s—or is it MINE?

Ask yourself these questions and then debate them. After you have answered these questions within yourself, then take it one step further and ask, What am I doing that is working or not working? Debate it all. Work with your mind to figure out the best possible direction for you—your self-direction. And then ambitiously pursue your own self-direction. Let the power of your own ambition take you where you want to go, to do what you want to do, to create the life you want to live.

Source

Pillars of A Growth Mindset | Tom Bilyeu AMA

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A recent video from Tom Bilyeu

Thursday, 8 March 2018

Learn to Forgive Yourself by Asking These 4 Questions



Take the path to personal redemption.

The yearning for personal redemption could be considered the bedrock of many modern religions. Humans inherently make mistakes, which causes us to feel shame, guilt, anxiety and unhappiness. To be redeemed of our mistakes equals freedom from that guilt and fear—a fresh start and the possibility of joy. In religious communities, this fresh start might require some act of self-sacrifice, punishment or renewed devotion.

In the secular world of modern psychology, personal redemption is equally important when it comes to emotional well-being, and it is studied and strived for through the parallel path of self-forgiveness. Swap “mind” for “soul,” and the narrative plays out largely the same. You do something—break a promise to a friend, maybe—that you feel badly about. The incident eats at you. Your self-condemnation might even make you question your worth as a “good” person. Your stress spikes, your self-esteem suffers and it’s hard to enjoy daily life.

The religious model for redemption seeks divine forgiveness. But restored emotional and physical health, according to positive psychologists, hinges on forgiving oneself.

Marilyn Cornish, Ph.D., an assistant professor of counseling at Auburn University College of Education in Auburn, Alabama, developed a four-part therapeutic model for self-forgiveness: responsibility, remorse, restoration and renewal. Ask yourself the following questions to achieve your own personal redemption.

Why did I do it?

Self-forgiveness can become self-delusion if you don’t accept the blame for what you’ve done. Don’t make excuses, rationalize your behavior or blame other people. Look inside yourself to understand the root of your behavior.

Are you a people pleaser who takes on too much and then disappoints the same people you wanted to please? Does your own insecurity cause you to diminish the success of others? Once you accept responsibility, you can begin to make amends and prevent yourself from repeating the same offenses.

Am I thinking of myself more than the person I hurt?

Try to direct your feelings of shame and guilt toward empathy rather than self-criticism. Everyone makes mistakes, and beating yourself up doesn’t help anyone. Think instead of the feelings of the other person: Is she as offended as you imagined? Why might she be particularly hurt? Has she made it clear she is upset with you?

It might be the case that your embarrassment and remorse are outsized for the situation. If not, you can begin to make  amends.

How can I right my wrong?

Here’s the hard part. Now that you understand your motivation and have considered the feelings of your friend/relative/colleague, you need to do what you can to repair the damage. Apologize without excuses. Commit to doing better.

What if the other person doesn’t forgive me?

They might not. It’s no one else’s job to absolve you, and your self-forgiveness can’t rely on an outside pardon. If you have done the work of understanding your wrong and have done all you can to rectify it, it’s time to move on.

You might always feel guilty, but lingering self-punishment and rumination will only take energy away from bettering yourself. Cornish recommends writing yourself a letter of forgiveness that outlines what you’ve learned and the positive changes you’ve made as a result. In one study, sober alcoholics who wrote narratives of their self-redemption (describing their last drink, what made them stop and the improvements in their life since) reduced their risk of relapse and maintained sobriety for longer than those who didn’t.

In that way, forgiving yourself is an act of compassion toward yourself—and others.



Source

How to Overcome Fear

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We could all do with some help sometimes, and over 3 Million views.

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

5 Daily Self-Love Tips


1. Seek support.

Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you have to struggle alone. Enlist what Gabrielle Bernstein calls “spiritual running buddies” to encourage you on the down days and celebrate with you during the up days.

2. Have a simple mantra.

Bernstein’s recommendation is “sat nam,” which means, “Truth is my name.” The first few times you’ll try meditation will be frustrating. Your mind will wander and fight against the stillness. Just keep returning to your mantra and focus on your breathing.

3. Carve out time for yourself.

It can be as simple as a warm bath before bed or 15 minutes to read your favorite book every morning. You can’t expect to love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.

4. Be vulnerable.

Opening yourself up to love and true connection is difficult. We spend years, even decades, building walls against the possibility of pain. Set aside time to connect with your partner or close friend by reading a page from your journal or sharing past memories.

5. Let go of control.

Attempting to control our lives is not only ineffective, it’s also our ego proclaiming that we don’t need help. Practice daily control-releasing exercises. For example, the next time you’re running late for a meeting and everything seems to be going wrong, stop, take a deep breath and release your perceived control.

Source

Jim Rohn: Make a Commitment to Yourself

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

How to Let Anger Go


Recently I became increasingly aware that something just wasn’t right with me. At first, it wasn’t completely obvious that it was anger that was brewing inside, but after a while it was undeniable. I became impatient, snappy and just not my usual self.

Shortly after this realization, a quote by the Buddha came to mind.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”


I took it as a sign to act on healing my heart.

I began the process by reflecting on how I respond when I experience anger, and I saw two distinct patterns. Most of the time if I am triggered and start to feel my blood pressure going up, I ask for space in that moment. This lets me gather my thoughts and listen to what is coming up for me, so I can hear why I am upset. I can then have a conversation with the other person that allows me to communicate in a productive and meaningful way.

The other pattern that I see is that there are times where I shove my anger deep down inside, and I pretend that is isn’t there. I smooth it over with justifications as to why the incident happened, and I can have myself fooled into thinking that I am not angry at all. But as we all know, it doesn’t work that way. If you hide your emotions, they will come up in one way or another.

Because anger can be all-encompassing, it is one of the most difficult emotions to work with. It is powerful and can be a viscerally intense experience. It can manifest itself in sickness or injury, or it can lay dormant for years and explode when you least expect it.

Unresolved feelings can be toxic in ways that can affect the ability to enjoy life on a daily basis.
So, how did I let go of my anger and get to a place of peace? Once I realized that I needed some support to work out what was coming up for me, I chose to seek help from a trusted professional. It only took a few sessions of going deep into the heart of my emotional pain for me to feel back to my usual self.

If for some reason you are not able to do this, (or you don’t want to go that route) then you could do journaling or talk to a trusted friend.

The most important action to take is to create a safe space for you to listen to the dialogue that is happening in your mind. That way, you can understand what has you all riled up.

Next, dissect the situation and see what you can take responsibility for and what you could do differently the next time a similar situation emerges. Will you need to speak up for yourself? Do you need to separate yourself from someone? Would it be better to take a timeout as soon as you feel triggered?

Lastly, forgive yourself and the other person(s). This is the true key to being able to let go. But, you can’t just jump to this step. You need to face the painful emotions so that you can find calm in your soul.

Source

Friday, 2 March 2018

Attract a Specific Person Into Your Life - Bob Proctor

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Back to basics on attracting someone.

How You’re Killing Your Productivity


Consider your day right now. What’s getting done that needs to get done—and what’s not?
Do you find yourself at the end of a long day without your most important tasks completed? Do you keep pushing your long-term goals further and further into the future?

The legendary business philosopher Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t produce, you won’t be happy.”
Productivity is essential to our feeling of self-esteem, accomplishment, and hopefulness. Without it, we gradually sink into a state of frustration, hopelessness, and regret.

If productivity is so important to success, it’s time to consider that while you’re probably working hard and giving it your best shot, you are the one killing your productivity.
No one else is responsible for your productivity but you. You are the one who has to get out of bed each day and decide how to spend it.

Sure, there are facts of life beyond your control, but for the most part, if the day isn’t going the way you want it to go, you are the only one who can do something to change that.

Habits

First, let’s get clear: You’re not alone. Most people work in a way that sabotages their best efforts. You have likely spent years tackling projects and working with clients, so you have well-rehearsed patterns of behavior. Those habits, however, are at the root of why you’re killing your productivity instead of boosting it.

Those same habits are the reason you feel defeated when you look at your long-term goals. Why you feel frustrated at yet another day gone by without real progress toward your biggest dreams. And why you work and work and work, only to find yourself in the same place today that you were a year ago.
Second, let’s get real: It’s going to get worse unless you do something different. More days of fruitless effort are not going to help you live the life of your dreams.

Spending one year spinning your wheels or even backsliding is tough enough. But continuing to get more frustrated, more behind, and more defeated will cause your productivity to dip even lower. A person who feels they aren’t aiming toward a realistic goal is a person without motivation. And a person without motivation is a person who is not productive.

So we need to look at what productivity is and how your choices can massively impact your level of productivity almost immediately.

What is productivity really?

Jim Rohn said, “Activity leads to productivity.” That means your activity is just the starting point, it is the essential element in the making of productivity. It is the minimum requirement, you could say. Without activity, productivity cannot exist.

But producing something worthwhile takes more than just busyness. We can all find something to keep ourselves occupied during the day.

You might spend too much time answering emails or skimming social media or putting out every minor fire that pops up during the course of a workweek. None of the busy work we can find to occupy ourselves is productive—unless it’s part of a larger strategy.

Productivity requires skill, strategy, and focused effort. If you’re working with those three essential elements together, consistently, you’re maximizing your productivity. It’s like a recipe for creating exactly what you want to create and doing it with excellence.

So ask yourself, “Am I working with skill, strategy, and focused effort on a consistent basis?”
If you’re answer is no, then evaluate the areas where you need the most help and start finding some new ways of doing business.

Skill

Without some level of skill in your industry, you’re not going to get far. Most people have one of two problems in this area:
  1. They think they have more skill than they do, so they stop learning. We all meet people who think they have it all figured out, who believe in their perspective or methods to the point of being outdated, outrun, and outclassed. The question is, are you a know-it-all?
If you’ve stopped actively seeking new ways of doing things or seeing things, it’s time for some self-reflection. There’s a good chance you’re subject to the delusion that you don’t need anyone else’s help to get ahead in your field. But let’s be realistic. Yes, your years of experience and hard work have certainly given you an excellent level of skill, but the people who stop learning, growing, and keeping up with advancements are eventually left behind. And too often, they’re the last to know it.

Becoming stagnant is just as detrimental to your success as not being productive. Don’t fall prey to the assumption that you’ve got nothing left to learn. Even the greatest masters have mentors. Find a mentor who has the depth of knowledge you need to guide you into further mastery.

  1. They think they have less skill than they do, so they never stop learning. On the flip side, you probably know someone who is continually signing up for lectures, who is always seeking an outside view on the best way to accomplish their goals, and who is spending most of their time absorbing knowledge.
Learning is vital to our continued growth, but learning without implementing what you learn is useless. Stop storing the knowledge you absorb and start to experiment with it; listen to your inner guidance on what fits your circumstances and put to use what you’ve learned. It’s important to find a source for growth that also helps you put your new knowledge into practice and to take the time to practice regularly so you can create new habits.

Strategy

If you’ve got the right skills, the next step is to develop the right strategy.
“Success is 20 percent skills and 80 percent strategy,” Rohn said. “You might know how to read, but more importantly, what’s your plan to read?”

A frenzy of activity does not necessarily lead to a lot of real results. Days when you are totally exhausted, stressed, and frustrated but have no real progress toward your goals are evidence that it’s time for a strategy update.

What if you don’t develop a strategy and just keep moving in random fits and starts toward your goals? You’ll likely get three long-term results:
  1. A higher stress level
  2. A lower level of satisfaction and happiness
  3. A sense of failure at not accomplishing your dreams

You may already feel this way. But you don’t have to stay here. With a strategy, your productivity and your results could drastically change, and that translates into a brighter future. You could end up with:
  1. Joy in your daily work
  2. A regular sense of satisfaction and pride
  3. The life of your dreams
All of this is the result of a strategic approach to productivity and growth. The first place to start with strategy is a set of written goals. Sketch out where you’re headed in each area of your life. Don’t neglect your personal life for your professional one; remember to include some fun.

Focused Effort

Once you have a strategy, you can create focused effort to execute it. Remember, it’s not about how many hours you work, but about how much you create in each hour. As Rohn said, “You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.”

Spend some time evaluating the kind of tasks you take care of on a daily basis. How are you using your hours? Do you find one or two things consistently pop up and steal your focus?

Ask yourself these questions to see how great your need is in the area of focus:
  1. Are you spending more time on tasks than you originally planned?
  2. Do you get interrupted multiple times a day?
  3. Are you personally answering every request for help or information you receive?
  4. Do you have multiple projects going at the same time?
If you answered yes to any of these, you could benefit from a refocus. Work with a mentor to further evaluate where your time is going and how you can narrow down your list of to-dos so you’re focused on what really matters.

Consistency

Of course, one super-focused day is not enough to get you where you want to go. You’ve got to show up consistently and stay focused over the long-term to reach those big goals.
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment,” Rohn said.
It’s not glamorous, but discipline is the heart of real progress and productivity.
Imagine what your life and business would look like if you could consistently work in your area of expertise using your highest skills, and executing an ambitious but realistic strategy with focused effort.

Imagine the sense of self-esteem you’d gain, the freedom and prosperity you’d earn for yourself and your family, and the joy and peace you’d feel in your work.

Now imagine that all of this is possible for you. Because it is. “Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day,” Rohn said.

How we approach the consistency in our lives is key. Establishing a few daily habits could make all the difference between expanding your goals further and actually meeting them.

Next Steps

Sometimes, you know what you need to do to achieve the big picture, but you don’t have any idea where to start. So what’s the next step to amping up your productivity?

Take another look back through the essentials above and determine your most vital need. What’s the one area that, if you could reverse your self-defeating habits today, would clearly propel you toward your dreams?

Here’s where a mentor can help. Ask someone you trust or find an established expert with wisdom to share. Look for someone who has a system of productivity and success that you can emulate and apply to your own circumstances.

Even Rohn didn’t become a success overnight. He started as a stock clerk for Sears, an average guy on an average path. But the difference between Rohn and other stock clerks who remained stock clerks was that Rohn was willing to learn. He attended a lecture by the man who would one day become his greatest mentor.

Again, Rohn wasn’t just another person in the audience at that lecture. He was willing to put into practice the principles and wisdom he learned from that mentor. He went on to gain and lose a fortune before finally working out his time-tested success principles and living the life of his dreams.
Today, Rohn is considered a legend in personal development and business philosophy. But it all started with his willingness to seek help and follow direction.

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