Affirmation - Louise Hay

Do You Need Approval?

"No matter who you are or what you did; there will always be somebody who will not approve of you. So don’t try to live your life trying to please everybody."

As babies we want to get attention, so we smile or laugh and make others laugh back at us. When they don’t give us attention we cry and then for sure we get it.

As we grow older we get a bit more sophisticated–– if we don’t get love, attention, approval or acknowledgement, we break things in the house, or we "accidently" spill milk on the floor, or we forget to take the dog for a walk and voila – the stink and the mess on the carpet gets us a LOT of attention.

Then we do things and we want people to agree with us––to tell us it was accepted, beautiful, that it was OK, and that we are wonderful. There’s nothing wrong with liking to hear compliments or a good word of support. These are all wonderful. But NEEDING praises is a different matter. Looking for approval; needing it to move on… Where does it get us? Whose life are we eventually living? Ours or those whose approval we need?

Therefore to live your life, to be who you are and who you want to be––the only approval you need is from yourself.

Be true to yourself. Don’t wait for others to give you the OK to live or how to live.
You are here! You have already gotten a driver’s license. Don’t wait for others to drive you around; you don’t know where they’ll take you and where you’ll end up.

You be the driver of your own car. Set goals, set targets, get in your car and drive on.
Go to places you want to see, drive fast or slow; don’t stop to ask people whether your driving is acceptable or if your choices are approved. Follow your own heart, follow your passion and those who don’t approve will be just another traffic light on your way to your destination.

Remember! The most successful people in the history never asked permission to follow their quest, never listened to those who disagreed with their path. They kept on going, stepping on a few stones here and there but never lost track of their path and destination.

"So don’t try to live your life trying to please everybody." (excerpt from I Hate to Say Goodbye.)

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Quote from Reid Hoffman

Can We Value Differences When We Can't Be Civil?

I wrote the original version of this article in 2006. Unfortunately, it seems our society has become even more uncivil rather than more civil. Join me in being part of the change.

Have you ever observed or been a part of the following scenarios?

• You are seated at a busy upscale restaurant and the first words from the food server are, "Are you ready to order or do you need time?" It does not occur to the person to say, "Good afternoon," or "Welcome."
• You call tech support when your computer locked up in the middle of an important project. American English is not the tech’s primary language, and you are having difficulty communicating. You lose your temper while explaining the computer problem.
• You are participating in a discussion about immigration, and you are verbally attacked because your opinion differs from the others present.

As these and other similar situations become more common, do you often wonder what really makes people so rude? I was recently asked by a college in Wyoming to deliver a keynote to their faculty and staff during their in-service day. I was asked to tailor my remarks to civility instead of diversity. My first assumption was that they just wanted me to avoid the "D" word. You know, talk about diversity but don’t use the word. Upon further investigation, I discovered the administration was very interested in building and sustaining a learning environment that respects differences of all kinds. After all, an institution of higher learning is the one place where diversity of all types should be encouraged.

The request to focus on civility came about due to the concern that too many people had a "short fuse’ and the leadership wanted to foster a culture where disagreements were valued, not just tolerated. The client supported diversity and wanted its faculty and staff to learn how to disagree agreeably, and model a culture of sincere politeness. With the outbreaks of violence on school campuses, leadership wanted to be proactive. They were not confusing the notion of valuing diversity with civility; rather they believed they needed to focus on civility before addressing issues of diversity that would undoubtedly lead to discussions filled with differing opinions.

So why do otherwise "normal" people become so rude in certain situations? I believe there are at least three reasons:

1. We don’t make the time to connect with others as fellow members of the human race first. The one thing we all have in common is that we are human. We all want to be loved, respected, and safe. We have forgotten to use "common" courtesies as a matter of course. Politeness is not "common" anymore. Our time is so compressed, we shortcut politeness to get to the point. In many ways technology has caused our lives to become more stressful instead of less. Everyone wants everything immediately. Email, voicemail and text messaging can cause misunderstandings. When a problem arises and we need to connect directly with a stranger, we don’t even exchange pleasantries; we go right to the issue at hand. To address this issue, a past client, the Ritz-Carlton Hotels succeeded in embedding courtesy into their culture. Their code is "We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentleman." All interactions with guests and employees are built upon this premise.

2. We have become rigid in our thinking. Many believe their way is the only right way, thus anyone who sees things differently is immediately wrong. Our unconscious biases cause us to think our viewpoint is truth, rather than just our point of view. Without a conscious attempt to connect on a human level first, many people assume the other person is wrong or ignorant so the resulting exchange is one of intolerance.

3. We live in a society of blame. If you start your day by reading the newspaper or watching TV news, you will see everything wrong with the world, people feeling victimized and searching for someone to blame. This focus then materializes in our behavior with comments such as "It’s not my fault!", "You made me do it!"

Our lives do not have to be this way. We can influence our environment. We are responsible for our own actions. We can be civil toward each other even when we disagree with different points of view. Try the following actions for the next thirty days, and observe the difference in your own interactions. Perhaps they will even become new habits!

1. Before starting any conversation for the first time with your co-workers, service providers or strangers greet them by saying "Good morning," or "Good afternoon."

2. Ask "why do you think that…" before jumping to a conclusion about someone.

3. Watch the news in the evening, instead of starting your day with bad news.

4. Look for reasons to be grateful, and find ways to be kind for no reason.

5. When someone says "thank you" to you, respond with "my pleasure" instead of "no problem."

6. When someone makes a potentially explosive statement, that is not in the form of a question, respond with silence. If you must respond, try this. "Thank you for sharing. I see it this way… because…

7. Create a quiet space for yourself.

8. Take a "cranky" quiz. http://www.whyiseveryonesocranky.com/quizzes/time.htm

There are dozens of things we can do to return to civility. The first step is to follow Nike’s tagline, and "Just do it." To address the needs of the above referenced client, I delivered one of my most popular programs, Turning Barriers into Bridges. As part of the presentation, the group brainstormed dozens of specific ways to bring the ideas to action.

So what does civility have to do with valuing differences? Everything. Valuing differences is much more than being nice to others, but if we cannot slow down long enough to really connect to those different from ourselves, we cannot truly learn ways to understand and respect them.

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Iyanla: The Powerful Advice That Boosts Your Self Esteem | #OWNSHOW | Op...

Imagination Fuels Imagination

Every invention also leads to the creation of a new knowledge. Knowledge is created to fulfill the necessity of the human beings. How does the necessity or the desire of people get converted to knowledge?"

The answer lies in the ability of human beings to imagine what is beyond the sensory perception- sight, sound, taste, smell and feel.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research." – Albert Einstein

It is through the human imagination that all knowledge has been created. Knowledge can be represented in any form like words, pictures, diagram or audio-visual medium. The knowing of knowledge again triggers imagination as the needs keep on evolving, which again produces fresh knowledge.

As children, we have the most vivid, uninhibited dreams, and at this time we truly were the artists of our life. We invented, laughed deep and some of us even liked to play in dirt, carefree. And there are those who as they grew to an adult, continued to work on their uninhibited dreams, their masterpiece. They chose to follow their own advice rather than the crowd and found their way off the evasive clone carousel. They became the influencers of society, the initiators of knowledge and the creators of what we do or use now, here is an example;

Artist, mathematician and architect, Leonardo da Vinci sketched plans of underwater crafts. This fueled the imagination of author Jules Verne and from this knowledge he created a story, one with a submarine called Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, long before we traveled underwater.

With his book, Jules Verne fueled the imagination of readers and inventors, advances in technology and human occupied submersible vehicles were created. These submersibles fueled the imagination of author, Tom Clancy, and this led to the invention of his novel, The Hunt For Red October. This novel and others fueled the imagination of screenwriters and directors bringing to us more movies, Tom Clancy’s novel, for example; gave opportunities for actors such as Sean Connery to play in the world of inventions. And the imagination continued to be fueled giving scientists the opportunity to explore the seafloor with remotely operated vehicles.

Thought is imagination and it is the essence for creating our physical existence, at all times. Life outcome is transmitted through imagination by choice and decision. The code and the activator. A single thought is the bar code transmitted to the Universe or "the formless substance – A thinking stuff that forms all things." as Wallace Wattles calls it in his book, "The Science Of Getting Rich.," This transmitted bar code will give evidence of the exact product.

Choice is thought we give our attention to or what we believe to be true, the bar code of the product. If we extend this thought, we have decided to activate this in the thinking stuff (formless substance) and bring to fruition the product (outcome) into our life. It can be joy, a touchable item, a feeling, fear or doubt. Even fear and doubt is a decision. The more we repeat thoughts we make the decision to reinforce specific thought patterns and welcome them into our life results again and again. Good or bad, we get what we decide every time.

Jules Verne repeated his thoughts of underwater travel when he wrote his book. Readers repeated these thoughts when they read it.

In any moment, we can change our thought patterns regardless of how much we have repeated them and relieve ourselves from our restrictive beliefs and decisions. Einstein stated;

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once."

Everything cannot happen at once. Choose one pattern, one frequency. To feel healthy instead ill, safe instead of concern, or happy instead of anything you don’t feel great about. All we need do is to decide not analyze how we are feeling, or want to feel, this is only adding resistance if we overthink good or bad.

Or you could imagine…

We are not limited to only thinking about what we desire. Even playing with our imagination, producing ideas of what is not present or has not been experienced will change the frequency transmitted to the formless substance and create patterns that bring into existence knowledge for legacy’s.

Imagination is inherent within all of us. Stir your giant within by finding inspiration; your journey will sprout and cultivate, and imagination will fuel imagination. Wherever the inspiration is found, it matters not, the only important thing is this is the story of your new future, with the greatest potential of a legacy; and will begin the moment you write upon the Universal canvas with your thoughts.

Allow yourself to Imagine. Use this word often. Because it is in this word that a mystery and one of the secrets is hidden.

"Great things are only possible with outrageous requests." – Thea Alexander


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Abraham Hicks - 3 Things To Do Everyday To Manifest Money Abundance!

Affirmation from Louise Hay

Become a Master of Change

When to change? - What to change? - How to change?

For most of us, the thought of change can send us into a panic attack. For some of us, we might fear change because it disrupts our sense of security and consistency by challenging our perceptions. As much as we crave stability and security, change is an inevitable part of life and we can either choose to embrace it or resist it.

From the minute we are born, our body remains in constant change and resisting it only makes it harder to get through it. Resistance to change isn't because we purposely want to go against the grain; we do it because we're fearful of the unknown outcome. We don't know what's on the other side and for no rational reason we resist it, thinking that will help us.

The fear of change comes from the fact that change challenges the perceptions and beliefs that our life is built upon. When change challenges our perceptions, we are forced to step outside our comfort zone, and that's uncomfortable. Additionally, when our perceptions are challenged, so is the ground our life is built upon. We are forced through change, to refine our perceptions and belief systems that we thought were true. Let's face it, when the very perceptions and belief system your life is built on is threatened, it can be uncomfortable. But it can also be very rewarding and exciting.

Change is the inevitable constant refinement of our being. Whether you want it or not, change is inevitable. Inaction and resistance cannot completely stop change; it will only lessen your personal growth and add frustration to your life. You will become stagnant and remain inside the boundaries of a very limited life while everyone and everything grows around you. You aren’t reading this article to stay the same, and I don’t believe we were put on this earth to be stagnant - you want to grow and improve. Wouldn't you like to discover your potential? What about becoming a better person for you, your family, and the world?

Life is really a series of changes and each change is a challenge. It's an opportunity for us to learn - to grow - to expand. Some changes might be small while others may be large, but they each bring the opportunity to learn something new about yourself and the world around you.
With each new lesson you learn from the previous challenge, you become more adept at applying what you've learned to future growth and challenges. Change actually becomes much easier to handle because when you come out the other side, you gain valuable skills and experiences that you can apply to the rest of your life. Instead of being fearful, you may even have fun being more open to change because you know your life will be that much better.

With a constant refinement of perceptions and beliefs, change goes from sending us into a panic attack to being just another task we successfully complete. It goes from being a major incident to a whole new exciting adventure. With every change you make in your life, you become more adept at building solid ground no matter what the situation; and rationally dealing with your fear instead of allowing your perceptions to falsely magnify it. Change becomes fun and exciting, and you learn to actually welcome it.

Here's how you become a master of change:

Inaction and Resistance Carries Bigger Consequences
There's no way out and around it. Choosing inaction or resistance to change carries bigger consequences than choosing to face the change head-on in the first place. You are an ever changing person in an ever changing world and resistance just adds fear and frustration to every situation. Learn to be open to creating new and exciting adventures that change will bring.

Focus on the Desired End Result
Worrying about what might happen will not help you deal with what's at hand. Focus on where you want to be when the change is complete. The mind has an uncanny way of being a goal-achieving machine and will create your reality based on the thoughts you are focused upon. You want to keep your desired end result in mind at all times, and only think about what you want to happen not what you don't want to happen. What got you to where you are today isn’t what will take you where you want to be. Look at your long-range desired results and embark on a new journey to even greater outcomes.

Rationalize Your Fear
Fear is a natural response, but try to identify what it is you are afraid of. Fear is usually the result of our mind creating hypothetical dramas that have no base in reality. If you find yourself fearful of the outcome of an impending change, ask yourself what you're afraid of. There is a solution to everything and when you rationalize your fear, you can see that you are going to be just fine. You can just suck it up, and as Nike says, "Just Do It." Do what you are afraid of doing and reap the benefits. You will quickly discover that the experience of change wasn’t worth all that anxiety over the unknown. Each time you rationalize the fear, you will have greater courage to "Just Do It" in the future.

Break it into Manageable Pieces
For major changes, break it down into smaller manageable pieces. It's much easier to identify a solution when you can apply a strategy to deal with each step. When you know what you're going to do each step of the way, you can get to the end result with confidence and a rational strategy.

Last but not least, celebrate your victories. Each time you felt the fear and did it anyway, you were victorious and reaped the benefits of showing that you are a champion! Little by little you'll learn to trust your abilities more and to handle anything that comes your way. When you rationalize the fear and create successful strategies, you come out a winner on the other side. Look at change as a fun and exciting adventure. Reap the many rewards!

You can resist change, but only temporarily. When you resist the natural flow of the world, which is based on change, your life becomes a series of challenges that are amplified by your resistance. Resist them and you become a victim - embrace them and you become a true master of change.

I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN
Celebrated American author

"Life and business are like the changing seasons.
You can't change the seasons, but you can change yourself."
- Jim Rohn




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10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself: Do You Really Need It? This Will Help You Decide!

It may take a little espresso or most likely a couple rounds of lager or whatever other liquor you could get your hands on with regards to unwinding in the wake of a prolonged day's worth of effort. Indeed, better believe it I'm liable about that one also, unless I'm found dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a couple rounds of vodka… half-bare! Alright, awful case and I apologize to everybody perusing this in the wake of getting bad dreams about me in that condition of smashed daze.

Simply don't ask how it happened, please.

Be that as it may's, truly intriguing that how do individuals experience the standard piece of life when confronted with vein-popping stress? That is to say, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the great things and it really works. Is there space for the scholarly side of individuals who can really enjoy the ambiance in-a-can while moving? It sort of made them believe that there truly should be something in this 'brain over-matter' thing.

Amusingness is for sure the best pharmaceutical there is at whatever point you are. I mean anybody can pay great cash to listen to a humorist just to make you wet your jeans subsequent to chuckling so hard. In spite of what's been going on, and to the individuals who has gone however the difficulty, it's ideal to recently chuckle while confronting the issues with an unmistakable personality than outrage with an obfuscated vision. One of my most loved famous people ever may must be Woody Allen. Presently this is one person who gives you the in-your-face obtuseness that he hauls out with fervor, even without attempting. You can speak pretty much anything with a man, and's will undoubtedly ridicule the subject and you'll wind up snickering as opposed to being vexed about it.

Woody Allen has this to state:

1. "Cash is superior to anything neediness, if just for monetary reasons." It sounds great to me, I mean the common sense for goodness' sake involves cash however it doesn't need to take an exorbitant price to get it.

2. "I accept there is something out there watching us. Sadly, it's the administration." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are more regrettable things in life than death. Have you ever gone through a night with a protection sales representative?" This happens to be one of the great ones. I mean the issue about existence's little issues isn't too awful, until "he" appears.

Indeed, connections can get confounded, or has its confusions that most likely any creator about connections will undoubtedly find it soon. We take after what our heart wants, unless you're discussing the heart as in the heart that pump blood all through your body.

4. "Love is the reply, yet while you're sitting tight for the reply, sex brings up some quite intriguing issues." And in the event that you need all the more, simply continue inquiring!

5. "A quick word about oral contraception. I requested that a young lady go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'functional', I think.

Furthermore, with regards to regular day to day existence, he truly knows how to make the most ideal out of each situation, and it doesn't include a claim in the event that he strikes a nerve.

6. "Fundamentally my better half was youthful. I'd be at home in the shower and she'd come in and sink my water crafts." I never had a pontoon in my bath some time recently. Simply gazing at it while absorbing boiling hot water makes me nauseous as of now.

7. "I am not perplexed of death, I simply would prefer not to be there when it happens." If it downpours, it pours.

8. "I am grateful for giggling, with the exception of when drain leaves my nose." It could deteriorate when you're swallowing on lager… or mouthwash, and it transpired once!

9. "In the event that you need to make God giggle, enlighten him concerning your arrangements." At minimum he doesn't destroy us with lightning, and I'm grateful for that.

Furthermore, regardless of what may happen to every one of us in the following ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I figure we as a whole need to see things in an alternate sort of light and not simply point of view. I can't envision existence with no bit of knowledge that could control us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more valor to acknowledge your feelings of trepidation and figure out how to manage them is the only thing that is in any way important with regards to even simply getting along.

Also, to entirety things up, here is the last piece of shrewdness to pass by… be that as it may, at whatever point, and wherever we might be.

10. "The ability for being cheerful is acknowledging and enjoying what you have, rather than what you don't have."

Ciao!

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Meet Yourself: A User's Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Niko Everett at T...

Quote from Success.com

Okay, so you messed up. Now what?

Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up.

For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating.

I know. Because I used to be ashamed of things I did or said. All the time.

And I’m not talking about calmly realizing one’s wrongdoing and immediately learning from it. I’m talking an involuntary panic-anxiety-attack-like-muscle-spasms-complete-with-grinding-teeth-and-making-noises sorta sensation.

With an inner voice going like: "Screw you! You messed up, and you're useless! You're unable to do anything right, and you should be locked away! You messed up, and that's all you're ever gonna do!"

Every day, several times.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. It could be a misused word, a social faux pas… anything.

When non-fident people react drastically to making any kind of mistake, it’s because non-fidence is often accompanied by low self-esteem, perfectionism, and insecurity.

When we have low self-esteem, we tend to judge ourselves more vigorously than we would our peers. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re hard on ourselves. Simple as that.

But moreover, if we don’t allow for ourselves to make mistakes, we develop perfectionism. Which, in turn, makes it seem so much worse to us when we do make a mistake. — Or even do something in a manner less than "perfect". (Which, as I’ve written about before, is a BS notion.)

And then there’s the insecurity, which doesn’t allow for much space for mistakes, nor for even trying. This is governed by the amygdala — the reptilian part of our brain — most commonly known for our "fight or flight" mechanism.

See, amongst our primitive ancestors, social identity was way more important than today. Dangers were all around. If you messed up something, it could get you expelled from your tribe and thrown out into the wilderness on your own.

All of this perfectly illustrates the dangerous downward spiral of non-fidence. If we have low regard for ourselves we make less space for ourselves to make mistakes. This, in turn, causes making mistakes to be even more likely, which, then, will only lead to much more self-loathing and shame.

Because we DO make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. We know this perfectly well, yet tend to act like we’re the only flawed person alive.

But here’s the kicker:
Confident people make WAY many more mistakes than less confident people.

The more confident you are, the less regard you give to other people’s opinion about you. The higher you think of yourself, the less you worry about making mistakes. You know perfectly well that your rights outnumber your wrongs. You know perfectly well that you’re able to learn from your mistakes.

Indeed, if you don’t make mistakes, you can never learn. And if you don’t learn, you don’t grow.

In other words:
For every time you messed up something in life, you had the opportunity to learn, grow, and prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.

So get out there and mess up. Badly. Learn, improve, repeat. And as you learn and grow, watch as your confidence grows with you.

ACTION ITEM:

The next time you're embarrassed about something, use the following method:

- Stop what you're doing.
- Breathe. Ten long, deep breaths.
- Think. Realize that whatever negative response on your part are merely thoughts, and that they're not necessarily true, constructive or favourable.
- Choose how you want to feel about what happened. Do you genuinely want to be ashamed? Or would you rather accept, learn, and grow?

The choice is yours.


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